


See You on Mars

by bellaronca13



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28343676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellaronca13/pseuds/bellaronca13
Summary: It's a sanitarium for tuberculosis in the 1940s, Iwaizumi and Oikawa meet in the hospital and they have to battle the rules of the sanitarium and the sickness at the same time.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 1
Collections: Fanfic Hospital





	See You on Mars

It was September 2nd 1942 and Oikawa sat in the back of his mother's car and started throwing a coughing fit. He coughed into his white handkerchief which was now stained red. The boy hurriedly shoved the handkerchief in his pocket afraid of his mother seeing the crimson tissue. Still unsure of where they were headed, Oikawa stared out the window at the sights passing by, they had been driving for an hour already as Oikawa felt the car turn into a parking lot. He looked up at where they had ended and stared up at the large image of a hospital building. They parked near the entrance and a nurse came out with an empty wheelchair.  
"Why are we here?" Oikawa asked his mother, his voice raspy. He hoped he didn't know the answer and stared as the nurse neared his car. His mother was silent and the nurse opened Oikawa's door wearing a blue medical mask. The nurse didn't say a word as she signaled the boy to sit down in the wheelchair. He reluctantly took his seat and stared at his mother who was crying at her dashboard as Oikawa was wheeled away. The building was cold and the hallways were bare. Oikawa was wheeled into a room with eight beds, four on either side. Only one bed was currently occupied. Oikawa was wheeled next to the only other occupied bed, which was placed near the window.   
"This is your bed, there are a few rules here to follow." The nurse coldly said. "Don't leave your bed on your own and don't talk to the other patients. Also try to keep moving to a minimum. There will be more but these are all you need to concern yourself with now. You can get changed into this hospital gown once I leave, put your old clothes on the bedside table, I'll send a nurse to take them" Oikawa sat on his bed and watched as the nurse left the room closing the door. The other patient was completely under the blanket not allowing Oikawa even get a glimpse at him. Oikawa quickly got changed and left his clothes on the bedside table, as ordered.  
He sat on his bed cross legged and began crying as quietly as he could. He hugged his knees near his chest and cried into them. He heard the blankets shuffle and saw a boy pop his head out sitting on the bed.   
"You know," The boy said, also with a raspy voice. "Crying isn't going to help anything, it hasn't helped anyone else and it sure as hell won't help you" Oikawa stared at the boy who had dark brown spiked up hair. His eyes were olive green and he had thick eyebrows.  
"Sorry" Oikawa started, "but I thought we weren't allowed to talk" The boy wiped the tears from his eyes, his attention now on the boy in the hospital bed.   
"You think anyone here actually follows that rule? We just keep our voices down so the nurses don't hear."  
"There are others?" Oikawa asked  
"Yeah, but they're more far along in their treatment than us so they were allowed to start going to classes, trying to get them ready to be back in the real world."  
"So, how long have you been here?"  
"I've only been here for a month, but the others have been here for way longer. I think one of them has been here like two years."   
"Wow, that's a long time," Oikawa said, worried that he would be stuck here for that long. "So, what's your name?"   
"My name is Iwaizumi, Hajimine. How about you?"  
"I'm Oikawa, Tooru." he answered.  
Oikawa and Iwaizumi heard footsteps down the hall coming closer to the door. "They're back, lay down and pretend you were asleep." Iwaizumi said as he pulled the covers over his head and laid down. Oikawa quickly followed Iwaizumi's lead doing the same. Five boys entered the room, all but one walking without a wheelchair. The boys each sat in their own bed and began doing their school work as the nurse closed the door. They heard the door close and Oikawa heard one of the boys say,  
"She's gone, you can come out now" Oikawa and Iwaizumi both simultaneously slipped off their covers and sat up on their beds.  
"Oh, looks like we have a new patient" One of the boys smiled. "My name is Hanamaki, Takahiro," Hanamaki said pointing to himself. Hanamaki had pink, short hair and small black eyes.   
"I see Iwaizumi has already told you about the nurses, anyways my name is Matsukawa, Issei but most people call me Mattsun." Mattsun stated. He had messy, black hair and dark brown eyes.  
"I'm Watari, Shinji" Watari told Oikawa. Watari had a buzz cut and grey eyes.   
"Hey I'm Yahaba Shigeru" Yahaba had light brown hair which was swooped to the side and light brown eyes.  
"And last but not least, I'm Kunimi Akira" Said the boy named Kunimi who had dark brown hair with a middle part.   
"Hi guys, my name is Oikawa Tooru, it's really nice to meet all of you" Oikawa smiled putting up his signature peace sign.  
"I hate pretty boys like him," Matsukawa sighed while everyone else nodded their heads in agreement.  
"Come on, you guys just met me I didn't even do anything" Oikawa whined earning a chuckle from the others.   
"You're right, but I can tell that you think very highly of yourself" Mattsun snickered  
"What's wrong with that? A little self confidence never hurt anybody"  
"Maybe not, but I have" Iwaizumi teased  
"You just met me, how are you threatening me already?" Oikawa whined  
"I guess we can just tell that a kiddy pool is deeper than you" said Hanamaki   
"I'm not even gonna bother" Oikawa sighed "So what do you guys wanna be when you grow up?"   
"I don't know, something easy I guess" Hanamaki replied "I don't have a clear goal in mind, but lemme guess you wanna be a famous actor on broadway and have your name surrounded in lights"  
"Nope! I wanna go to outer space and find all cool aliens"  
"The earth is flat and space isn't real" Kunimi interrupted. Oikawa looked at kunimi like an idiot, he didn't know someone could be so dumb.  
"What's with that face?" Iwaizumi questioned  
"I didn't know that we still question what shape the Earth is....it's 1942, come on now we're better than that.."  
"We can't all be geniuses like you," Iwaizumi sarcastically said.  
"I know I'm smart but genius? Nah, I mean maybe? I don't know, but imma choose to trust your judgement"   
"You must be pretty stupid if you can't even know when I'm being sarcastic"  
"Yeah, and you must be pretty dumb if you can't tell when I'm pulling your leg"  
"I was being sarcastic then too"  
"So was I" Oikawa giggled causing Iwaizumi to get annoyed, "But there was some truth to what you said, sarcastic or not"   
"What are you talking about?"  
"What I'm saying is that I think that we never say something that's completely untrue, you have to be thinking it somewhere in your mind, it's not just completely random."  
"That's so stupid, what if I were to say something like, you're a girl"  
"Well you might not have been directly thinking about it but maybe you were thinking something along the lines of, Oikawa is so beautiful and kind, like a girl"  
"Why would I ever think that?"  
"You can't control your subconscious thoughts"  
"Yes I can"  
"No you can't, no one can."  
"Will you two stop bickering? You literally have only known each other a few hours" Mattsun interrupted.  
"Whatever, I'm gonna read a magazine"Oikawa rolled his eyes.  
"Let me guess it's a fashion magazine" Hanamaki snickered  
"Actually it's a sci fi magazine, it's about aliens on mars" Oikawa beamed. "Aliens are so cool and so is mars!"  
"How do you expect to go to mars when no one has even been to the moon?" Iwaizumi asked  
"What is having dreams an issue?"  
"It's not a problem if you make them realistic."  
"But that's so boring, why would I want to dream about having an office job? And who knows maybe one day I will get to go to mars"  
"Good luck with that"  
"Thank you" Oikawa smiled. Annoyed, Iwaizumi huffed and rolled his eyes.

The next morning came and Oikawa woke up and looked all around the hospital room only to realize that the rest of the beds were open.  
"morning sleeping beauty" Iwaizumi said. Oikawa yawned and rubbed his eyes sitting up on the bed.  
"What time is it" Oikawa asked groggily   
"No clue. There are no clocks in here for us, I guess if there were we would just stare at the clock all day."   
"So I guess the others already went to classes"  
"Yeah, I mean I'm not too good at telling time, but they left a while ago."  
"Oh, so what do you do all day?"  
"Well usually I talk to the others but lately I've been by myself. There used to be two more but they both left..."   
"Did they, you know-"   
"Yeah" Iwaizumi said looking down. An awkward silence fell which Oikawa immediately tried to fill.  
"So Iwa Chan, how old are you?"  
"Seventeen, Everyone here is about the same age, we're placed in these sanitariums based on age and gender."  
"So is everyone seventeen?"  
"No, I think that the ages range from 14-17. When you're 9-13 you're in one room, then once you hit 14 you move up to the next age range. I think once you turn 18 they just keep everyone together and just place it based off of gender. You don't really want to leave because I hear the adult rooms are a lot more cramped and the nurses care less. Children are first priority or whatever, but I don't really know those are just rumors, it's not like they tell us anything."  
"How is everyone here so calm? I mean we're in the middle of a tuberculosis outbreak and there's no cure, yet everyone is able to laugh and joke around"  
"Well, I think everyone has just accepted it. There really is nothing you can do except hope for the best. Everyone here is scared, sure, and we were all like you at some point but might as well make the best of being here."  
"Do you miss school?" Oikawa questioned  
"Not really, I miss some aspects of it but not so much the people."  
"Yeah same, what was wrong with the people at your school"  
"They were just all so annoying, they just made me so angry because of how ignorant they were, so I'd always lash out at them and get in trouble. How about you?"  
"The girls only liked me for my looks and all they guy's hated me because I got a lot of attention from girls. They were jealous so they'd always start false rumors about me calling me a sissy or saying that I secretly wore girl's clothing." Oikawa revealed  
"Oh, that's awful" Iwaizumi said taken aback  
"Yeah, I've always been more feminine then most of my other male classmates, and a lot of girls liked me but I was never interested in any of them. Then one day after I rejected a girl she got all mad and started a rumor saying that I was homo and that's why I turned her down. People talked and someone said I had a crush on my best friend, Sugawara, which wasn't true by the way, and then Sugawara started keeping his distance from me because he was afraid I was in love with him I guess. The only thing I miss about that place is the volleyball club."  
"You play volleyball? What position?"   
"Yeah, I'm a setter and a pretty good one at that."  
"Oh, I'm an ace"  
"Really? You must be pretty good then, I mean getting the ace position is difficult at a high school level"  
"Yeah, I'd say I'm pretty good, not the best but definitely not the worst"  
"My whole brand is that I'm really good at getting the full potential out of people. Maybe when we're out I could be your setter" Oikawa said staring at Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi smiled softly and nodded his head staring into Oikawa's eyes. Iwaizumi turned his head swiftly and looked out the window.   
"I can't wait to go back outside, I know it's cheesy but I miss the smell of the air outside this hospital room." Iwa said.Tooru stared at Iwaizumi who was staring out the window dreaming of being out. Oikawa laid down and took a nap in an attempt to pass time but woke up when he heard the door open.  
Oikawa opened his eyes and sat up looking around the room to see everyone was back by now.   
"You're finally awake" Mattsun cheered  
"Iwa Chan, how long was I out for?" Oikawa asked, turning his head towards Iwaizumi.  
"Did he seriously just call you Iwa Chan?" Hanamaki snickered.  
"Yeah" Iwaizumi said  
"Never expected you to let anyone get away with something like that" Mattsun said. A puzzled look painted Oikawa's face.  
"Why do you look so confused?" Watari asked  
"I was just confused on why he wouldn't let anyone call him Iwa Chan, I mean he didn't have an issue when I called him Iwa Chan"  
"It's just unlike you Iwa Chan" Hanamaki teased  
"don't call me that!" Iwaizumi yelled, causing him to cough. He covered his mouth with his hand which was now covered in blood. He wiped his hand on the white plain white bedsheets which now had a light red stain.  
"Dude, be quiet, someone's going to hear you," Kunimi said.  
"Tch" Iwaizumi sighed, unwilling to apologize.   
"So are you guys excited to leave?" Oikawa asked. The boys just looked back and forth at each other debating telling him.  
"I probably would be if we got to leave" Hanamaki started "But, I don't think I'm going to get to leave anytime soon"  
"What? But I thought getting to go to classes means you're getting better"Oikawa replied.   
"Who told you that piece of crap? Look Oikawa, I've been going to classes for two years and I've been in the hospital for two and a half. There was this guy here named Kindaichi, he came here when he was twelve and started classes soon after. They thought it was going to be a speedy recovery so he started classes after only a month of being here. He moved up here once he was fourteen and stayed here for two years until one day he just didn't wake up. Mattsun was with him for one year and myself for two, Watari only knew him for six months and Kunimi just moved up to our age a week ago after being here for 8 months, so Kunimi never met him. Anyways he died two days after Iwaizumi came here. That was about a month ago but I still think about it a lot. He was here for four years but he still died just like that, he never got to see the outside world again." Hanamaki said.   
Oikawa was speechless and looked at the other boys wide eyed.   
"Don't forget about Yahaba either, He's been here for fourteen months and his friend-" Mattsun started   
"Is that really your story to tell?" Kunimi interrupted   
"It's fine, he can tell him" Yahaba said  
"OK, so when Yahaba came, he came with this guy who apparently went to middle school with him. His name was Kyotani but Yahaba called him his nickname Mad Dog. Mad Dog would always yell resulting in him getting scolded by the nurses. They wanted to move his room so he had nobody to yell at but there wasn't an empty room. One day about two weeks ago, he yelled too loudly and fell into a coughing fit. There was a blood clot in his throat so he couldn't breath and died from not being able to get enough oxygen" Mattsun told Oikawa  
"For the next week they had a nurse stationed in our room to make sure we didn't talk at all. It was the longest week ever." Watari complained  
"Usually all of the beds are full, so we'll probably get a few more patients pretty fast. Most of the time patients come in slowly because there aren't enough beds, but since we have some openings they'll probably jump on the opportunity." Hanamaki said  
"I'm just excited to get out of this wheelchair," Kunimi said. "I think that once the new patients come in they'll get my wheelchair so I'll finally be aloud to walk around"   
"So, how long does it usually take for someone to start classes?" Oikawa asked  
"In the time I've been here it usually depends on the person but I'd say 1-6 months. I think that there are other variables though other than only being healthy enough. There's only one room that we go to and it has the girls who are 14-17 too. I think that the younger kids go at a different time. There are 12 kids in our class and there are only twelve chairs, so I guess it makes sense. One of the girls got really bad though all of the sudden I heard so Iwaizumi is probably going to replace her. Then once someone else leaves, you'll replace them, I'm guessing anyway.."Hanamaki said  
"That's so sad, I hope she's alright" Oikawa replied   
"I wouldn't hold my breath" Mattsun sighed  
"How are you OK with somebody dying?"  
"Well, if you're here for a while you learn to block out those emotions. Yeah, it's sad but there's nothing you can really do"   
"Block out those emotions? Sorry Mattsun, but I just don't think I can. Even though I don't know her, imagine what her family must be going through, Imagine what all our families must be going through. Sending your kid to a hospital and not being able to see them again must be rough, I know when I left my mom looked to be having a hard time with it"  
"Stop being so sensitive you're acting like a little bitch, just man up and deal with it. Like I told you yesterday, crying never helped anyone and never will." Iwaizumi retorted   
"That's where you're wrong Iwa Chan, I think that crying can help relieve stress, It's not good to keep all of that in, you have to express your feelings somehow"  
"And I disagree with that statement. I don't have to express my feelings because it will only make me and everybody else feel worse about everything."   
"Iwa Chan I-"  
"Whatever I'm done talking about it. I'm going to sleep and I suggest you do the same." Iwaizumi suggested but it felt like more of a threat.

Oikawa woke up and fidgeted with his blanket attempting to be quiet, but not succeeding and awakening Iwaizumi.  
"Good morning sleeping beauty" Iwaizumi teased.  
"Are you going to say that every morning?" Oikawa whined. The ace just smirked to himself and stared at his setter. Oikawa looked around the room and saw everyone was still asleep. Mattsun and Hanamaki started to wake up due to the noise.  
"Damn Oikawa, you're loud in the morning," Hanamaki said, rubbing his eyes.   
"How do you make that much noise ruffling sheets?" Mattsun asked, genuinely curious. Oikawa giggled and shrugged his shoulders.   
"Anyways, we have a day off from classes today." Hanamaki said  
"So Hanamaki, Mattsun, did you guys play any sports?" Oikawa asked   
"Yeah, I used to play volleyball" Mattsun replied  
"Same"   
"What positions did you guys play?" Iwaizumi asked  
"I'm a middle blocker" Matsukawa stated  
"And I'm a winged spiker, how about you guys? Did you play?" Hanamaki asked  
"Yeah, I used to be the setter, and the team captain" Oikawa bragged  
"And I was my team's ace," Iwaizumi said but was cut off by knocking on the door.  
"Mr. Tooru Oikawa?" A nurse said entering the room with an empty wheelchair. "I'm very sorry we took so long to get back to you, we're just so busy. Anyways starting today we'll be taking your vitals at this time daily." Oikawa nodded his head and sat down in the wheelchair. The nurse wheeled him out of the room and shut the door.  
Iwaizumi watched the door close and looked back at Mattsun and Hanamaki.  
"So Iwaizumi" Mattsun started, "What are your honest thoughts on Oikawa?"  
"What do you mean honest thoughts? Do you guys not like him?"  
"No, no that's not it at all, you just act different towards him"  
"Act differently? What do you mean?"  
"Don't act all oblivious, you seem to have a soft spot for him. You may act all tough and scary but we can tell you really do care for him. You took weeks to warm up to us but you warmed up to him so fast. If I didn't know better I'd say you guys already knew each other." Mattsun said  
"Yeah what gives" Hanamaki agreed  
"I don't know, I guess he's just easy to talk to"  
"He's so hard to read, caught me completely by surprise. Never expected him to be into all that nerdy stuff" Hanamaki said  
"That's what makes him so mysterious. I just want to know more about him but at the same time I like the mystery."  
"That doesn't even make sense, you're contradicting yourself "  
"I know, for some reason I feel some strange sense to want to protect him"  
"A sense to protect him?" Hanamaki questioned   
"Yeah, but I also want to protect myself, every instinct tells me to save myself but I still want to put him first."  
"What do you mean?" Mattsun asked. Hanamaki and Mattsun were confused and Iwaizumi was no better.  
"I don't know what I mean, I was hoping that you would understand"  
"Sorry dude but I'm clueless" Hanamaki said  
"Same here" Mattsun agreed  
"It's so confusing what I'm thinking, and it's even harder to put into words" Iwaizumi sighed  
"Take your time-" Hanamaki started but was cut off by the door opening. Oikawa was wheeled in next to his bed and he got off the wheelchair and laid down in his bed. Oikawa sat up and looked around the room to find Watari, Yahaba, Kunimi still asleep. As his eyes found his way onto Iwaizumi, Oikawa's face lit up.

"Iwa Chan!" Oikawa squealed in excitement.  
"What do you want" Iwaizumi harshly said  
"Have you ever played that one team called Shiratoraizawa?"  
"Yeah, they're really good. We could never win against them"  
"Same, plus their ace Ushiwaka wanted me to go to their school and always pestered me about it. Every time I saw him he was all like 'You should've come to Shiratorizawa' It was so annoying." Oikawa whined   
"You're an awful person Trashykawa"  
"I don't like these names"  
"Shittykawa then!"  
"Now you're just being vulgar"  
"Both of you knock it off" Matsukawa said   
"Iwa Chan started it" Oikawa whined and pouted  
"Stop whining, it's so annoying" Iwaizumi snorted  
"You'd just love that wouldn't you" Oikawa huffed  
"I think we all would" Iwa snarled  
"You two bicker like an old married couple," Hanamaki said. Oikawa giggled while Iwaizumi had a vein popping out of his forehead. Iwaizumi loved their little bickers even if he would never admit it.  
"SHU-" Iwaizumi started yelling but was cut off by a coughing fit which led to his hand being dyed a dark crimson red.   
"Are you OK?" Oikawa asked worriedly. Iwaizumi caught his breath and gave Oikawa a thumbs up. There was a knock at the door as a nurse opened the door.  
"Hello boys, these are our new patients." A nurse said wheeling in two boys. The first one with dyed blond hair sat on the bed next to Oikawa's and the second one with dyed gray hair got the bed near the wall. There were four beds on either side of the room which were currently all occupied.   
"Alright boys, there are a few rules that you need to follow. First of all, no leaving your bed without permission and try to keep your movements to a minimal, second don't talk to anybody. Talking is absolutely forbidden, last time a patient tried to talk he died, so keep that in mind." The nurse left the room and closed the door as the two boys got on their beds.  
"That was a harsh way of putting it," Oikawa said, earning a nod from the others.   
"Don't freak out, we talk, I mean we're not supposed to, but we do, also about the guy who died from talking, he died from yelling too much because he got a blood clot in his throat. So you should be fine talking as long as you don't yell." Yahaba said  
"When did you wake up?" Mattsun asked  
"I don't know like a few seconds ago. Anyways, what's your names?"  
"I'm Miya Atsumu" Said the one with dyed blonde hair  
"And I'm Miya Osumu" Said the one with dyed gray hair.  
"Oh, are you guys brothers?" Oikawa asked  
"Twins actually" Atsumu said  
"That's so cool!" Oikawa smiled with stars in his eyes "I'm Oikawa"  
"I'm Iwaizumi"  
"The names Hanamaki"  
"My name is Matsukawa but you can call me Mattsun"   
"I'm Yahaba and the guy with the buzz cut is Watari and the one with the middle part is Kunimi "  
"Nice to meet you guys, you can call us by our first names since we have the same last name." Osamu said.  
"So what do y'all do all day?"Atsumu asked  
"Eh we read talk, there's not really much to do so it's kinda boring, but it's not too bad" Oikawa replied  
"Mm, so how long are we gonna be stuck here for? Is there any sort of ballpark?"  
"Probably the rest of your life" Iwaizumi said  
"That's kinda harsh, at least pretend that you have a chance to make it out. If you don't have hope you know what they say, fake it 'till you make it"   
"That's too much work, plus it doesn't change the reality, the reality still is that we're gonna die here"  
"No way! You might be happy dying here but I'm not! I still want to go see mars!"  
"No way?"  
"Yeah! I want to make it out of here and I will. It's that simple, you could try being a bit more optimistic"   
"Ok here I'll try to sound like you, 'My name's Oikawa and I'm gonna go to outer space! I won't die because I am delusional"  
"Meh, sounds about right, but try it this time with your own dream" Oikawa said  
"You're too naive"  
"He's right ya know" Atsumu started, "You could be a little less blunt about it though" Iwaizumi shrugged his shoulders in response and turned to look out the window.   
"I'm so bored" Oikawa whined  
"Oh I'm sorry for boring you princess, do you want to take a stroll around your palace?" Iwaizumi said sarcastically  
"Ohhhh am I princess now?"  
"That was said sarcastically and you know it"  
"Was it?"  
"Yes! Yes it was!"  
"You're right, I'm more of a queen anyways"  
"Yeah sure"  
"Well this queen is going to read a magazine"  
"Have fun with that"  
"I will '' Oikawa huffed pulling out a magazine and began reading it. They sat in silence for hours everyone reading or staring at a wall as they waited for time to pass.The days went by slowly in the sanitarium and boredom spread like wildfire.

A month had passed and everything in the sanitarium followed it's usual schedule.   
"Good morning sleeping beauty" Iwaizumi said, who had stuck to his promise of saying that every morning.  
"Good morning Iwa Chan," Oikawa said, rubbing his eyes. There was a knock at the door and a nurse walked in.   
"Good morning Mr. Iwaizumi, Mr. Oikawa" Iwaizumi and Oikawa nodded since they couldn't greet the women back. "So, I have some good news for you Mr. Iwaizumi, you are allowed to begin walking on your own and going places on your own. You can begin going to the bathroom and outside with a nurses permission. You also will need a nurse to accompany you, just to make sure you're alright, but you will be able to walk. You also can speak, but try and keep it to a minimum, we also believe that there will be an opening in classes soon"   
Oikawa felt those words sting his chest as he knew that meant someone was going to, or already had passed.   
"Can I go outside now?" Iwaizumi asked   
"Yes, I can accompany you" the nurse smiled checking her watch.   
"Can I bring Oikawa? I can wheel him" Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa smiled from ear to ear as his heart was beating out of his chest, his attention shifted from the thought of the person before. He blushed a little bit excited that Iwaizumi cares more than he lets on.   
"Yeah, sure, just be careful and if he's too much to push I can take over." The nurse closed the door and walked out to get a wheelchair for the Oikawa.  
"Awww Iwa Chan you didn't have to take me" Oikawa blushed pretending to be humble  
"You're one hundred percent right, I can make her take the wheelchair back"  
"You're so cold," Oikawa shivered. The door opened and the nurse came back into the room with an empty wheelchair. The nurse put it next to Oikawa's bed and he sat down in the wheelchair. Iwaizumi placed his hands around the wheelchair and used it to help support his weight.   
He began walking and exited the room when the nurse opened the door for him. The two boys were fortunate in getting a kind nurse since most nurses probably would've denied the offer to bring Oikawa, or they would've been scolded because it wasn't difficult to figure out they had been talking.   
They walked through the long, cold, empty hospital halls as they approached the doors leading to the yard. Iwaizumi walked outside and cold air blew into his face sending a chill down his spine. He looked down at Oikawa who stared wide eyed at the changing fall leaves. Iwaizumi walked over to a bench and parked the wheelchair next to it. He sat down and breathed in the cool autumn air. The nurse stood near the door trying to give the boys as much alone time as she can.   
"Oikawa" Iwaizumi said. Oikawa looked up at Iwaizumi not knowing whether to talk or not. "You can talk"  
"but there's a nurse right there, won't we get in trouble?" Oikawa whispered trying to not move his lips too much.   
"I doubt that will happen. That nurse seems to sympathize with her patients. She knows that not talking will probably help us recover, but that's not a fact. The fact is you shouldn't yell too much, but even in doing that survival is not guaranteed. The chances of everyone in our hospital room right now surviving are slim to none. Don't even consider it a possibility, she knows that and these will probably be most of our final days so I guess she's trying to make our stay more enjoyable."   
"Don't say something like that" Oikawa replied  
"Why not I'm only saying the truth! Only an idiot like you would hope for everyone to make it out of here alive" Iwaizumi said as sternly as he could attempting to keep himself from yelling.   
"Look Iwa Chan, I don't want to have to think about losing anyone in that room. I know that it will happen someday, but today's not that day, nor tomorrow. What I'm saying is I'll think about it when the time comes but that's a problem for another day."  
"Oikawa I-"   
"Let's change the topic" Oikawa said waving his hands not wanting to talk about the inevitable   
"OK, what do you want to talk about?" Iwaizumi questioned   
"Do you celebrate Christmas?" Oikawa asked. Christmas was his favorite, the lights, the fires, the trees, and the songs. He had so many Christmas traditions that he would have to leave behind this year. He and his mother always baked cookies and played games with his whole family who always came over to celebrate. Leaving it all behind would be hard for him, he was sure that the atmosphere at home significantly dropped and as much as he wanted them to have a merry Christmas, part of him was relieved that he was being remembered and thought of.  
"Yeah, do you?" Iwaizumi answered the seemingly random question   
"Mmm hmmm" hummed the pretty boy  
"I hope we're out by then" sighed Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi dreamed of a Christmas where he was celebrating with Oikawa. He remembered all the fun he used to have with his parents on Christmas but nowadays it was just a reminder of what he was missing. Yet, something in his mind knew Oikawa could fill that void.  
"Yeah, that would be the best Christmas gift" Oikawa smiled to himself thinking of what it would be like, getting to spend Christmas with Iwaizumi..   
"It really would."   
"Iwa Chan"  
"What is it?"  
"You know, there's something special about you. I can't really describe it, but you have this way about you that is just so captivating to me. You always act pessimistic but I don't think that's how you really feel. You try to act more pessimistic than you are so you're not surprised when something bad happens, but that's not the real you, is it? I know that in that way we're probably opposites, yet we're still after the same goal"   
"What are you talking about"  
Oikawa just chuckled and looked up at the sky. Iwaizumi looked over at the boy who was smiling at the sky. His heart started racing and he looked back away from Oikawa trying to collect his thoughts.   
"Boys, I think it's about time we head back in now" The nurse said. Oikawa snapped back into reality and looked at Iwaizumi who made eye contact with the pretty boy. They nodded and Iwa stood up and grabbed Oikawa's wheelchair. He walked into the hospital with the nurse walking behind him. They walked into their hospital room and sat back on their beds. The door closed and the boys continued talking.  
"Iwa Chan, I want to know more about you" Oikawa said catching Iwaizumi by surprise  
"What do you mean know more about me? I'm seventeen, I play volleyball, and I don't like the kids from school. What more do you want"  
"I want to know what's going through that head of yours. You're usually so quiet but I can tell you're thinking of a lot. You're hopeful more than you let on, I think you hide your emotions from us and yourself. Why? I mean I don't understand why someone wouldn't want to be hopeful" Oikawa was a perceptive person and had a talent for knowing somebody's true thoughts.  
"Why? look Oikawa it's just how I do things, I've always done shit that way and I'm not gonna change for someone who's probably gonna die and leave me" Iwaizumi barked. Oikawa heard what he said loud and clear, he knew that he didn't intend the message to come across like that but he wasn't sure exactly how to decode it. Still, the sting didn't fade, his words carried a harsh impact.  
"I'm not going to leave you Iwa chan-"  
"So what are you going to do? Is the tuberculosis magically going to leave your system just because you tell it 'sorry but I can't leave, I told this random guy at the hospital I wouldn't leave him'" Iwaizumi said rather calmly yet Oikawa sensed a strong sense of passion in his voice and knew all those words were his exact thoughts. Iwaizumi knew he was hurting Oikawa but he was trying to protect himself. As much as he tried to convince himself otherwise he didn't think of Oikawa as some random guy in the hospital. Iwaizumi knew that Oikawa was likely to die and the only way to cope with that fact is detaching himself, or not getting attached at all.  
"Look Iwa Chan, I don't know who you think you are but you are not just some random guy at the hospital. Is that what you think of me as? Just some random guy you met at the hospital?" Oikawa asked Iwaizumi's words starting to get to him. Iwaizumi refused to put down his wall and replied,   
"What do you want me to think of you as? My best friend? My soulmate? Yeah good luck with that. There's no point to it if you're just gonna die anyways"  
"I think of you as my best friend yeah I've said that before but I never threw around the term soulmate. You came up with that all on your own which means, you really do care more then you let on. Remember there's always some truth behind words, nothing is ever completely made up." The pretty boy's voice filled with some hope  
"That was said sarcastically and you know that. Also I said you were some random guy at the hospital, so does that mean I think that's true?"  
"Do I? You told me that you didn't think of me as a best friend, which makes sense since I said best friend earlier, but to think of saying soulmate means that somewhere in that head of yours you've thought of me as your soulmate before and you've been trying to convince yourself that i'm just some rando you met here which is somewhat true, but it's not what you really think."   
"That's not true" Oikawa giggled at Iwaizumi and just smiled. He knew he was right but decided to lay off since there might be more pieces he wasn't connecting.

There was a soft knock at the wooden door as a nurse slowly opened it. The nurse scanned the room and eyed Iwaizumi who was fast asleep. She squatted next to his bed and gently shook him in an attempt to wake him up. He opened his eyes and looked at the bed next to him to find Oikawa also fast asleep. He turned in his bed still feeling a cold hand on his shoulder meeting eyes with the nurse.   
"Yes?" Iwaizumi asked, a little freaked out. He wondered what she could possibly want and impatiently awaited his answer.  
"I have some good news for you" The nurse smiled removing her hand from his shoulder. "You can start classes now, an opening was just made, I needed to tell you early so you have time to get to class."  
"Now that you're saying it, I never thought of it. How do the others wake up on time?" Iwaizumi asked. There were no clocks in the room and he never heard any alarms go off, granted he was a heavy sleeper.  
"I usually wake them up" The nurse said   
"Really? You must be really quiet because I never heard you."  
"yeah, I make it a point to not wake anyone else up" Iwaizumi just nodded, a little creeped out. "I'm going to go wake up the others'"The nurse said, walking away. She woke up the others and walked out of the room.  
"You're up Iwaizumi?" Yahaba asked  
"Yeah that nurse woke me up, apparently I can start classes today."   
"Congrats, now get off your ass and get going" Mattsun smiled sadistically   
"mmm" Iwaizumi just hummed. He stood up and stretched his arm over his head. Iwaizumi felt a pair of eyes on him and looked around to see who they belonged to. He saw Oikawa looking up at him and said his usual "Good morning sleeping beauty" He softly smiled to himself for some reason he was happy that Oikawa was awake, morning just wouldn't feel right without him.   
"Where are you going?" Oikawa asked, he looked around and saw everyone else awake yet his attention was still fixated on the boy in front of him.  
"Classes just had an opening so I'm going to my first class" Iwaizumi said, he'd never admit it but he was kind of excited that he was well enough to go to classes, he knew that in this world it didn't mean much yet it filled him with a sense of hope. Oikawa on the other hand, felt a ping in his chest, he tried his hardest to be happy for Iwaizumi but part of him was going to miss having the Iwaizumi around all the time. The pretty boy didn't want anybody to die but he still hoped for there to be an opening in classes so he didn't have to leave Iwaizumi's side every day.  
"Oh, well have fun," Oikawa said, putting on a fake smile. As much as he wanted Iwa to stay with him he knew that was selfish so he pretended to be happy for him. Mattsun, Hanamaki, Kunimi, Yahaba, and Watari all left the room with Iwa following them unsure of where to go.   
"Going to miss your boyfriend?" Atsumu asked mockingly  
"As a matter of fact, yes, yes I am" Oikawa stated catching Atsumu off guard  
"Woah, didn't expect you to be honest there pretty boy"   
"Yeah well, he's not my boyfriend but I am gonna miss him. It'll be weird not having him around all day"  
"What're we not good enough for you?" Atsumu teased  
"No it's not that it's just-"  
"You don't have to finish, it's painfully obvious that you like him." Oikawa blushed and nodded   
"Yeah, but I want him to make the first move" Oikawa whined  
"Good luck with that, you know how stubborn he is. He probably doesn't even understand what having a crush is, he can't except his own feelings, you said it yourself so even if he did realize it what makes you think he'd have the balls to make the first move"  
"Fair, I mean he probably likes me and doesn't even realize it," Oikawa bragged.   
"Wow, your ego is bigger than your brain" Atsumu smiled to himself trying not to laugh at his own jokes.  
"At least I don't laugh at my jokes" The brunette defended himself.   
"Yeah because your jokes aren't funny" Atsumu replied, proud of the quick comeback he came up with  
"I'm hilarious, maybe you just don't have a sense of humor"   
"Both of you knock it off, it's getting annoying," Osamu said. Unknown to the two bickering boys, Osamu was awake and listening to their whole conversation. Oikawa quieted down, not wanting to annoy Osamu while Atsumu kept going, shifting his energy now to his brother.   
"Don't tell me what to do" He sighed, Atsumu hated being told what to do, and even more he hated those directions coming from his brother. He could take criticism, sure and didn't care for the opinions of others but that doesn't mean being ordered around wasn't annoying. Instead of starting a fight with his brother, Osumu rolled his eyes and ignored him.   
"You know what you should do" Oikawa started ignoring his poor taste in words, he could feel Atsumu getting frustrated. "You should talk to Iwa Chan when I'm at my checkup later, you know maybe put some ideas in his head" The brunette winked.   
"Why should I? Is there something in it for me?" Atsumu bargained, he would do it for free but was curious as to just how far Oikawa would go to get Iwaizumi on the same page.   
"What do you want me to do? We're in a hospital so money won't help you and it's not like I can make you something. Is there something that you want?" Oikawa asked, he thought that it was a possibility he could get the Miya twins to do it for free so he didn't want to offer something in case they actually took it.   
"Yeah, you're right there's nothing you could give me so we could just count it as an IOU" Oikawa hesitantly agreed, 'It can't be too bad,' Oikawa thought, 'I mean what's the worst he could ask for? What are the chances we make it out of here where he could ask something real? Yeah Yeah agreeing was definitely the best bet he'll never remember and I'll get what I want without having to give him anything in return'.   
"What time is your checkup anyway? Is it when they come back?" Osamu asked   
"Yeah it's just a little bit after they come back, I mean I can't tell time but if I had to guess they're only there for about two hours"   
Iwaizumi was walking down the hallway following the other patients on his way to the class.   
"Are you excited?" Watari asked. Iwaizumi almost blurted out yes but wanted to keep his cool and composure so he just did a slight nod. They turned the corner and the class was the first room on the left, room 203. Mattsun opened the door and there were twelve desks in the room with none currently occupied. There was a man with short black hair, glasses, and a blue medical mask standing in the front of the room behind a desk.   
"Hello, you must be the new student, I'm your teacher Mr. Takeda. Your name is Iwaizumi, Hajimine right?" Mr. Takeda's glasses fogged up and he wiped them off before looking at Iwaizumi who had nodded his head. "Great, so I think the only open seat is right there in front of the board" The desks were in rows of three with four in each row. Iwaizumi's seat was the first in the middle row. Iwaizumi took his seat and sat down while the others took their seats mostly being in the back of the class.   
The door opened and the girls in their age group walked in. Iwaizumi felt his heart skip a beat as a beautiful girl walked through the door and took her seat to the right of Iwaizumi. She had black hair and bangs, gray eyes, glasses, and a beauty mark placed right under her lip. She smiled at Iwa and he could tell that all eyes were on her.   
"Alright, as you can see we have a new student, Would you like to introduce yourself?" Mr.Takeda asked, waving his hand signaling Iwaizumi to stand up.  
"Hello, My name is Iwaizumi, Hajimine, I'm 17, and my favorite sport is volleyball"  
"Since Iwaizumi is new, how about we go around and say names. Let's start with you" Mr. Takeda said, pointing to the girl with black hair and glasses.   
"Hello" The girl said softly "My name is Kiyoko, Shimizu" The girl behind her looked really nervous as she said her name.   
"I'm Yachi Hitoka" The girl said with a shaky voice, The girl had blonde hair and brown eyes. The rest of the girls went around and said their names and once they were done Mr. Takeda began the lesson.  
"So, as you guys know, this is a rather small hospital so we only have one class for you guys so most of it is just making sure you remember your old skills. So we're going to start a new book today. We're going to read the first five chapters, then we'll talk about them." Mr. Takeda said as he walked around handing out the books. Iwaizumi opened the book and began reading, him being a fast reader finished before everyone else so he looked around to see if anyone else was done. He saw that Kiyoko had finished and decided to write her a note.   
'hey' he wrote, crumbling up the paper and passing it to her. She opened the paper and wrote back   
'hello'   
'so how long have you been here?' Iwaizumi wrote with kyoko replying,   
'about 5 months how about you'   
'2 months, your name is Kiyoko right?'  
'Yeah, and you're Iwaizumi, Hajimine. Is it alright if I call you Hajimine?'   
'Yeah it's fine,'  
'Thanks, you're a fast reader huh'  
'Yeah, I like to read a lot so speed comes with experience I guess'  
'Oh, I like to read too. What's your favorite book?'  
'I'm not really sure, I have a few favorites but my favorite genre is probably mystery or horror'  
'I love fantasy books with princesses and knights. It's always fun dreaming of a world better than your own. We're forced to live here and we're forced to go through pain which I think is so dumb. Sometimes I want to dream of a life I'm not forced to live, somewhere I'm not stuck in a cage and I get the great open lawn.'  
'Honestly, I dream of another world a lot, but for now there's nothing we can do, I know it feels like a cage sometimes but it's not. You might not be able to decide everything that happens but you can choose your reaction.I know being here sucks but it could be worse, at least we were able to be in the hospital and be taken care of, a lot of people can't say the same'   
'I guess it could be worse, but it doesn't make it a good situation.'  
'Yeah, so how long do the others usually take to read?'   
'Depends, but they'll probably be finishing up soon'  
Iwaizumi pocketed the note as he looked around and saw everyone closing their books.   
"For the assignment you're going to be doing I'll be choosing partners, This project will be done with 100% class time so don't worry about doing it on your own time. First pair, Kiyoko and Iwaizumi, next is Yachi and Matsukawa, Velarti and Hanamaki, Sasiki and Kunimi, and Haibia is with Yahaba."   
Iwaizumi looked next to him at his partner and looked down at his hands. He did a slight smile to himself and looked back at his teacher awaiting directions.   
"This is just a simple project, write a paper about the book and what it means to you and I want you to see examples of symbolic items, for example in lord of the flies we have the conch shell the boys pass around so they talked one at a time, that could be used as a symbol to represent the democracy. You have a week to turn in this assignment, but I want you to start with what you just read to try and make predictions or try to detect foreshadowing" The class nodded and turned to find their partners who they began dividing up the work with.  
"So, how do you want to do this?" Iwaizumi asked the pretty girl next to him,  
"How about we write notes while we read, and then we could read them over at the end and decide what to use in the paper." Kiyoko suggested as Iwa nodded his head in agreement  
"Do you use partners often?"  
"No, actually this is the first time we've used partners all year. It's actually really unusual so I'm not sure why he did it"  
"Oh"   
"Hajimine, how many chapters should we read?"  
"How about we read up to chapter 10"  
"OK, we should be able to finish before our class is over"  
"The classes go by that fast?"  
"Yeah, there's only one teacher and one room that every age group has to share"   
"Wow, that must be tough on Mr. Takeda"  
"Yeah, It's a really small hospital and it's not like everyone has Tuberculosis, they're trying their best but sometimes I wonder what it would be like at a bigger hospital where there were more patients and more classes"  
"That sounds nice, but that also means more death, I don't think I'd be able to handle it." Iwaizumi sighed. He thought that even though the hospital was small and there weren't a lot of classes, at least he didn't have daily deaths to deal with.  
"That's why I want to be a nurse one day" Kiyoko daydreamed. "I didn't always want to be a nurse though, a few years ago I didn't have any goals. I guess I was just content with living like I was. I'd run hurdles and manage the boy's volleyball team and that made me happy, but then I contracted Tuberculosis and was taken here. A boy from the volleyball team I managed came here too, his name was Tanaka but he passed after just a month of being here. He loved me and was all over me and even though I didn't realize it at the time, I loved him too. I don't want anyone to feel like I did, the feeling of regret you feel when you know you could make someone's life better. I wish I knew I loved him before it was too late."  
Iwaizumi heard her words, and they shook him to his core. Why? Why did he feel those words so much? He huffed and thought of an appropriate response. "That's a good reason for becoming a nurse" 'That was such a lame response!! That's a good reason for becoming a nurse? What the fuck? I should show some form of empathy, it's not like I didn't feel it but how do I express that I felt it?'   
"I guess it's a pretty good reason," Kiyoko said, snapping Iwaizumi back to life, "What do you plan on doing when you grow up?" Hajimine hadn't thought about what he wanted to do with his life. If he was being honest with himself he didn't have high hopes of making it out of the hospital alive.   
"I'm not really sure. I think I want to do something with sports but I'm not exactly sure what I want to do." Iwaizumi didn't want to bring down the mood by telling her what he was thinking besides, there was some truth to that. If he happened to make it out of here he might want to do something with sports considering he had a lot fun while he played volleyball.  
"What sports did you play?"  
"I was the ace of my high school volleyball club"  
"Alright class, that's about it for time, have a good rest of your day and make sure to get plenty of rest." Mr. Takeda said as all of the other students stood up and began heading for the door.   
"I guess we forgot to read the chapters," Iwaizumi siad "Do you want to read them on our own time?" Kiyoko just nodded and stood up. Yachi ran up next to kiyoko and began talking to her. Iwaizumi left the room and the other boys were waiting to the left of his door.  
"Dude how did you get so lucky?! I got stuck with Yachi. She gets nervous from everything I do, she freaks out when I turn the page because she thinks I'll get a papercut. I keep having to reassure her that I'm not going to murder her" Mattsun complained   
"I just got lucky I guess" Iwaizumi shrugged.  
"Lucky doesn't even begin to describe it dude, I got Velarti, I mean she's alright but she's nothing compared to Haibia and Kiyoko. They're both total babes" Hanamaki said  
"Hey Iwaizumi, do you like Kiyoko" Mattsun teased   
"Yeah bro you guys were talking up a storm" Hanamaki continued   
"Not to mention the note passing" Kunimi added  
"Like her? I barely know her. Liking someone solely for their looks is a shallow thing to do." Iwaizumi said. He had a thought of Oikawa who he recalled saying that happened to him all the time and how much it sucked.   
"I see our Iwa Chan is too much of a man to like someone's looks" Watari replied. He meant it sincerely even if it didn't come across that way. As they approached the door yahaba walked a little in front of everyone and opened the door.   
Oikawa was lying in his bed reading some magazine and looked up to see his friends coming in. His face lit up when he saw Iwaizumi and he smiled and said "Iwa Chan! How was the class? What were the kids like? Were there any cute girls?"   
"Calm down Shittykawa." Iwaizumi said, taking a deep breath "The classes were fun and the kids were super nice. As for cute girls there was this one really pretty girl named Kiyoko. We got partnered up for a project together and she's super nice. We were passing notes and she said that she wants to be a nurse one day"   
Oikawa's face dropped but he put on a fake smile and pretended to be happy for Iwaizumi. "Oh sounds like fun" He smiled adding a fake chuckle at the end in an attempt to sell the act.   
"What's wrong?" Iwaizumi asked only to be cut off by knocking at the door. The nurse wheeled over a wheelchair that Oikawa sat in. They left the room and Iwaizumi looked around to see if anyone had any idea what he did wrong.   
"Do you guys know why Oikawa is upset?" He asked  
"You probably broke his heart" Hanamaki said  
"Broke his heart?" Iwaizumi asked  
"Yeah, talking about another girl like that while you call him Shittykawa" Mattsun said "Must be rough on him"   
"He's the one who asked if there were any cute girls, I just answered" Iwaizumi defended himself  
"But you shouldn't have said yeah, he obviously wanted you to say no" Hanamaki continued   
"I- Why would he want me to say no?"   
"How dense can you be? Pretty boy obviously has a crush on you" Atsumu said  
"He does?" Iwaizumi asked blush creeping its way onto his face.   
"Obviously, dude he calls you Iwa Chan, his face lights up whenever he sees you, when you're not here you're all he talks about, and did you see his face when you talked about another girl?" Atsumu asked trying to spell it out for him   
"So what do you think of him?" Yahaba asked  
"I- Uh I- I don't know" Iwa said and that was the truth. He didn't know how he really felt, sure he liked Oikawa but did he like him like that? 'Do I like Shittykawa? I mean yeah he's really pretty, and nice, and funny but that doesn't mean I like him. He's just going to end up dying so there's no point even if I did like him. Which I don't'   
"You really don't know?" Atsumu questioned  
"I'm sorry but I don't-"  
"You're an idiot"  
"I'm a what" Iwaizumi said anger rising in his voice  
"You're so stupid, just accept your feelings, lying to yourself isn't doing anything."   
"I like him, but I don't know if I like him like that"   
"Well what do you like about him?" Yahaba asked   
"Well he's really nice, he's funny, he's really caring, he's really pretty, and he's super charismatic. He brings the best out in everybody and he can light up a room just by smiling. Oikawa told me once how mean the people at school are to him and I just want to be his friend and make things better, but I don't want him to get too attached because I'm probably going to end up dying at some point. When he gets out of here I don't want him to be sad when he thinks of me so it's just best to not let him get too attached."  
"You're a pussy," Atsumu said. Iwaizumi didn't say anything and sat there with his head down until Hanamaki intervened

"Damn it Atsumu butt out, it's not your relationship so you shouldn't try and control him" Osamu said weary of his brother's metaling. The door opened and Oikawa walked into the room capturing everyone's attention. He sat on his bed and the nurse walked in behind him.   
"So I have some good news for you Mr. Hanamaki" The nurse started "Your last test came through and turns out you're clear. You're going to leave tomorrow morning, your mother has been notified and will be here at 7 am. Pack your stuff tonight please and I'll come get you in the morning."Hanamaki stared in disbelief as a smile made its way onto his face. The nurse left the room and closed the door as everyone looked at Hanamaki who was speechless.   
"Wow, so you're leaving tomorrow huh" Mattsun said staring down at his thumbs.  
"Yeah, it's going to be so crazy," Hanamaki chuckled "I've been in this hospital for two years now, it's so weird to think I'm going to go back. If I'm being honest I didn't think people left here alive."   
"It's going to be different not having you around Hanamaki" Mattsun said, he didn't sound excited though. As much as he wanted to be happy for him he was scared at how Hanamaki was leaving him. "You've been here for the whole year I've been here, but I am happy that you finally get to leave." Matsukawa put on a fake smile to hide his fear  
"I really want to see you again" Hanamaki started "I really want to see you again... so I'll wait for you"   
"How are you gonna do that? You can't write letters to me since we're not aloud to get mail, and you're not aloud to visit"  
"So?" Hanamaki said, putting a sparkle of hope in Matsukawa's eyes. "Everyday, I'll wait for you at the coffee shop on 12th street. I'll wait there everyday, I'm usually there anyway so it's not that big of a deal"   
"Oh, Ok," Mattsun said, staring down. He felt kind of bad knowing Hanamaki could be waiting for someone who might never come. He's really going to wait for me even though I'll probably never make it out? That's just like him, he's such a good friend.  
"Mattsun, you'll get to see me again, so why do you look so upset?"  
"It's just, what if you're waiting there forever but I never come? I don't want to waste your time"  
"It's not a waste of time, and that's not going to happen. I know that sometimes this world can be cruel, sometimes your reality changes, against your will. Sometimes change is scary but you can't cower in fear. Looking away from something doesn't make it disappear it just makes you not able to see it. I know that I might not see you again but it won't be a waste of time because I know that you're trying. Even if you don't succeed you never can lose, you can only lose when you give up."  
"What are you a cheesy school guidance counselor?"  
"I'm sorry that did sound chessy didn't it"  
"Yeah but it's ok, I'm gonna miss you regardless of how stupid that little pep talk was"  
"Mattsun," Hanamaki started, "What do you think comes after death?"  
"I don't know, I've never really thought of it because I've always kept the mentality of whatever happens happens you know"  
"Same, I never gave much thought to it until I saw it lurking around every corner. I started thinking about it and I wanted to think nothing, but now that I met you I want to think that there's something. Sitting here and thinking about it won't change the outcome though. If there's one thing I'm sure of though, it's that this isn't going to be our final goodbye"  
"I really hope not..."Mattsun sighed under his breath.

There was a soft knock at the wooden door too quiet to be heard as the door was opened by the same nurse as the day before. She woke up Hanamaki first and he stared one last time at the room he had been trapped in for the past two years.   
"You're leaving today" Mattsun stated earning a nod from Hanamaki  
"Yeah, starting today I'll be back in the real outside world" He said slightly spaced out. Hanamaki grabbed the backpack he packed the night prior and sat it on his lap.   
"Are you nervous?"  
"I don't know honestly. This is the hospital room I've been in for the past two years and these are the people I've spent all that time with. I really want to see them again, but I'm not stupid and I know that probably won't happen."  
"Hey come on now Makki, I don't want to see you frown. I promise I'll make it out and I'll see you in that coffee shop." Mattsun smiled trying to spread his cheer along.  
"You can stop smiling," Hanamaki said, staring at Matsukawa getting a puzzled look. "Your smile, I can tell it's fake. It just doesn't feel genuine. You don't have to put on a fake face for me, I know you better than that."  
"I just didn't want the last time you see my face to be with me frowning"  
"But, It's not going to be the last time. Remember you just promised to see me? It's too early to give up." Hanamaki stuck out his hand with his pinky finger out. "Pinky swear to me, I know that you can't promise to stay alive but promise you won't give up" Mattsun nodded before joining their pinkies.   
"I promise I won't give up," Mattsun said, chuckling a little. Even if his smile wasn't huge, Hanaaki could tell it was at least genuine so he smiled too. Hanamaki left that room and walked into the hallway he remembered entering from all those years ago. He walked down the long white hallway and stared at the two glass doors which entered into the lobby. He breathed in the familiar scent of the hospital one last time before opening the doors and walking into the lobby waving his old way of life goodbye.   
He walked outside, it was cloudy and kind of cold. There were orange leaves blowing through the wind and all the trees were colorful. He scanned the parking lot and saw his mom standing in front of a new car which he didn't recognize. He ran up to his mom and was pulled into a big hug. He felt tears on his shoulder as he was now taller than his mom unlike the last time she saw him.   
"You've gotten so much bigger Takahiro" His mother said  
"Yeah, thanks," Hanamaki said, not knowing the appropriate response.   
"Wow and your voice has gotten so deep. I missed my baby grow up. I'm so sorry I left you here for so long"  
"No, mom it's OK. I'm happy I went" Takahiro smiled looking back for the first time. His mother went silent and walked to her car door which she opened and Hanamaki opened the door after her. And sat in the passenger seat.  
"Hey mom" Hanamaki started "Is it ok if I start going to that one coffee shop on 12th street?"  
"Yeah sure but you've never been there before, what makes you want to start going now?"  
"I made a promise and I intend to keep it" Hanamaki looked up at the sky and stared at a cloud. He wasn't sure how but in some way he knew that Mattsun was staring at the same cloud and he felt a sense of peace.  
"What are you doing?" Iwaizumi asked Matsukawa who was staring out the window.   
"See that could? I don't know how but I can feel Hanamaki staring at it." Mattsun smiled and Iwaizumi just shrugged off the weirdness.   
"Well we should probably be going" Yahaba said standing up and heading for the door.   
"Oh yeah Oikawa's coming with us today right?" Watari asked and Oikawa turned towards Watari and nodded.   
"OK, come on, let's go,'' Mattsun said walking away from the window and towards the door. Oikawa followed Mattsun out the door and they began walking to class. They walked down the long white hallway which seemed to be in every hospital. They opened the door and the girls were already in the room not really paying attention to the boys walking in.  
Oikawa walked through the door and all attention was immediately drawn to him. The girls sat there with their mouth open and blush forming on their face.   
"Well it looks like we have another new student" Mr. Takeda said "Would you like to introduce yourself?" Oikawa looked over and nodded at the teacher before standing in the front of the room.  
"Hey my name is Tooru Oikawa, I'm seventeen I used to play volleyball and I've been here for a month" Oikawa held up his signature peace sign and giggled.   
"Does anyone have any questions for Oikawa?" Mr. Takeda asked the class. Sasiki raised her hand and Mr. Takeda nodded giving her permission to speak.  
"Do you have a girlfriend Oikawa?"  
"No, I've been waiting for someone as beautiful as the girls in this class" The setter winked and all the girls squealed except for Kiyoko who was quiet, yet mesmerized. Iwaizumi saw her eyes on Oikawa and turned to look away. It annoyed Iwaizumi how Oikawa got all of the girls but he kept quiet.   
"Oikawa what's your favorite color?" Velarti asked wanting to learn more about the boy  
"I'd probably say cyan because it reminds me of my old volleyball team"   
"What position were you? I'm sure wherever you were you were amazing" Haibia said with her head in her hand.  
"I was the setter and the team captain"  
"Wow really that's so cool!" Yachi said  
"OK OK, I know we're all curious about our new student but we have to get this show on the road. Oikawa you can sit in Hanamaki's old seat right behind Iwaizumi. We were working with groups on projects so you can have his old partner who is Velarti" Mr. Takeda pointed to Velarti and Oikawa took his seat behind Iwaizumi. The teacher passed out the books and everyone got into their groups. Velarti pulled her chair next to Oikawa and the began talking about the work.  
"Oikawa, I can do all of the work for you. You don't have to worry about it at all." Velarti said, trying to get him interested.   
"I couldn't leave a cute girl like you to stress about all this work, how about you can draw or talk to your friends while I catch up with you."  
"Ok that sounds like a good plan" Velarti said, a little embarrassed that her plan didn't work. Yet, she was somewhat happy Oikawa was willing to help and she was left a blushing mess.  
"Oh, by the way what's your name?" Oikawa asked  
"My name is Natsuki Velarti, you can call me either one" Velarti giggled nervously hoping she wasn't coming off too strong.  
"I like Natsuki, it's a really pretty name" Oikawa flirted, tucking her soft brown hair behind her ear. Oikawa took out his book and began reading as Natsuki stared at him taking in his pretty features.   
"Hajimine" Kiyoko said  
"Yeah, what's up Kiyoko" Iwaizumi asked  
"Is that your friend?" She asked  
"Yeah I'd say we're friends" Iwaizumi answered curious as to why she asked the question.  
"He seems kind of shallow, flirting with every girl like that" Kiyoko said  
"Don't talk about him like that, I know he seems shallow at surface value but I don't think that's the case. He is my best friend in this hospital and I know for a fact he isn't shallow" Iwaizumi thought back to the time Oikawa told him about his school life. He was probably just trying to break free from the fear of being called names and losing friends due to something he couldn't control.   
"Oh, I'm sorry" Kiyoko said "I didn't mean to offend you I guess I just get annoyed by play boys who only care about boosting their own ego" As much as Iwaizumi hated to admit it she wasn't wrong. Part of the reason Oikawa was flirting was probably to boost his own ego which did slightly annoy Iwaizumi. He didn't know why but even knowing the reason it annoyed Iwaizumi that Oikawa was flirting with all these girls.  
"His flirting annoys me too. I don't know why but it makes me feel like shit. It makes me really angry but I'm not sure why" Iwaizumi said, looking down at his clenched fist. It made him so angry he wanted to run away and cry, but he also wanted to confront Oikawa and make him stop. The ace still wanted to be around him though because running away and being without Oikawa made him feel even worse.   
"Hajime.... do you swing that way?" Kiyoko asked. She knew it wasn't her place and she knew she probably wouldn't get an answer but that wasn't the point of the question, the point was to get him thinking about the question. Iwaizumi looked back at Oikawa who was wearing glasses reading a book and his heart fluttered. He stared at him along with Natsuki before he looked up.  
"Iwa Chan, were you staring at me?" Oikawa teased poking fun at the boy  
"No way Crappykawa, I was just looking that way"   
"Iwa Chan don't be so mean to me" Oikawa whined  
"Would you rather me call you Shittykawa?"   
"Fine Crappykawa then," Oikawa said loudly, clearly annoyed.  
"As you wish" Iwaizumi smirked  
"You don't have to be so condescending about it"  
"Yeah be nice to Oikawa!" Natsuki defended Oikawa in an attempt to impress him. The attempt wasn't successful as he secretly loved their bickers.  
"Have you finished reading the first five chapters yet?" Natsuki asked  
"Yep! I'm ready to start working whenever you are" Oikawa said as they began working.   
The bell rang and all the girls swooned at Oikawa as the boys were standing by the door. Yachi was too nervous and Kiyoko was uninterested so they left. Oikawa was shamelessly flirting with the girls telling them all about himself.  
Iwaizumi yelled "Come on Lazykawa" Oikawa looked at him and back at the girls before leaving and breaking their circle.   
"Well, see you tomorrow!" Oikawa smiled and held up a peace sign before leaving the room.   
"Oikawa" Iwaizumi started as he stopped walking, Oikawa stopped too and the other boys turned around. "Come to the roof with me" Iwaizumi turned the other direction and started for the stairs. Iwaizumi started walking up the stairs and Oikawa followed him.  
"Are we allowed to be doing this?" Oikawa asked  
"No"  
"What do you mean no?! You're going to get us into trouble!" Oikawa yelled. They climbed the stairs and Iwaizumi opened the door to reveal a roof with no one there. There were two benches, some flowers, and railings but other than that it was pretty empty. Iwaizumi sat down on a bench and Oikawa stared down at him, hair blowing in the wind.  
"Oikawa, I just wanted to talk to you. I don't know I just feel like talking about me for once and you're the only person I trust to talk to. Is that alright?"   
"Of course, it's fine, if something is bothering you, you can tell me."  
"I'm scared, I'm terrified actually. My dad, he died when I was 8, so I still remember him. I remember his smile and how much fun we had. We'd always play games, watch movies, and he even taught me how to play volleyball. My mom would always be home and we'd read stories together, cook, and she taught me how to sew. We were one big happy family, until one day my dad didn't come home from work. My mom was a stay at home mom and got really worried so she started freaking out when he was 2 hours late. She drove to his office and he had gone to the hospital so we drove there and found out he had a heart attack and was beyond saving. That was on December 24th. I was heartbroken and my mom even more than me. After that my mom had to get a job which is really difficult for a woman to do. So she found 3 part time jobs that were willing to take her on so I got the house all to myself. She started seeing this guy and he seemed really nice at first but they'd constantly fight in their room trying to be quiet so I couldn't hear. That guy would hurt my mom, he'd hit her and he would always yell at her. I felt so bad for my mom but there was nothing I could do. I just watched him, he'd yell at her and he'd hit her and there was nothing I could do, I felt so useless. One day I talked to my mom about him to try and get her to leave, but then she flipped out on me and said I didn't know what I was talking about. 'You're just a little kid, how would you know anything about this. Go to your room and mind your own business' She'd say and I listened. I couldn't do anything and I hated seeing her in pain so I joined the volleyball club and it was a great way to get all of my anger and stress out. One day I came home and my mom was passed out on the floor surrounded by booze. She never drank with my dad but today she was asleep and wouldn't wake up. I had my license since this was only a year ago and drove her to the hospital. She had alcohol poisoning and died so my uncle was sent to live with me. He had an important job so he was always away on business trips, I never saw him much but he left me money for everything I needed and he would visit once every few months. Then I got sick and went to go get it checked out and here I am. I doubt he even knows I'm here, It's not like he doesn't care he's just a busy man. Everyday I think about how if my dad didn't die I wouldn't have lost the most important people in my life. Actually it was this hospital where he died, funny how we'll probably end up dying in the same place. " Iwaizumi chuckled with tears in his eyes.  
"Don't say that, we'll both make it out of here alive. We already made it through the first step, we started classes, so don't give up because we started so we're going to see this through" Oikawa put up his fist for a fist bump but Iwaizumi didn't react instead he stood up and started towards the railing. He rested his hands on the ledge and stared at the ground.   
He looked back at Oikawa and said, "Oikawa, I don't want someone I love to die again. I'm so cold to you because I deny my feelings but no matter how much I try to ignore them, they're still there. I'm terrified of losing you and I don't want to do this anymore. There's no point to the treatment, we're just going to die anyways. I think you'd be happier without me." Iwaizumi lifted up his leg over the railing and Oikawa ran behind him. He pulled Iwaizumi into a hug and started sobbing on his shoulder.   
"Iwaizumi if you do this I'll never forgive you!" Oikawa yelled "Iwa please remember what happened to your mom when your dad died? That's going to happen to me because I love you. You're what gave me hope, you're the reason I haven't given up yet. I'm living because I want a life with you. So, I know that we might not make it through but if you jump, I'm going to jump with you" Oikawa let go of his hand and Iwaizumi looked at the drop then back at Oikawa. He put his leg down and walked away from the ledge.  
"I'm sorry" He said with his head down, "Kiyoko gave me a new way of looking at and she never told the person that she loves that she loves him and now she regrets it, but if I say something then it'll make it harder for you to lose me... Please, let me be selfish just this once. I love you Tooru Oikawa, I love you so much I don't know what to do with myself. If hope had a human form, I imagine it'd look and act like you." The boys felt rain starting to trickle down but Oikawa didn't care.  
"I-" Oikawa started but was cut off by a nurse slamming open the door.  
"What are you boys doing out here?! You don't have permission to be up here! Get inside now!" The nurse yelled and Oikawa and Iwaizumi went inside as fast as they could. The nurse closed the door behind them and looked pissed. "What were you doing out there?! You know you could die?! It's not good for you to be out in the rain!" The nurse took a deep breath before continuing "Look, I don't know what you guys were doing and I don't really care to find out. You're not going to get in trouble just don't let it happen again. Now get back to your rooms" Oikawa and Iwaizumi hair was wet and their slippers were soaked but they didn't pay attention to it and instead walked to their room as ordered.  
They walked into their room and everyone stared at them as the nurse followed them into the room. "If I find out you ever do that again, I'll make sure to have you guys be punished. Now stay in here and don't leave without permission" The nurse eyed Iwaizumi and Oikawa before slamming the door shut to leave.   
Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi with his mouth wide open studying his features. The ace didn't say anything instead rolling over and going to sleep. Everyone stared at Oikawa wondering if something happened but kept quiet.

"Please don't leave me" Oikawa cried reaching his hand in front of him.  
"Sorry but, you're not enough. Maybe if you were a better friend you could've saved me." Iwaizumi said looking off the ledge of the roof. He lifted one leg over and the other followed in pursuit.  
"Please, I promise I'll be a better friend, if you jump I'm jumping with you" Oikawa said walking towards the ledge  
"You're so selfish, I want to kill myself and instead of trying to stop me you're worried about yourself. You know this is why I always call you a Shitty person, you only care about your own sadness, you deserve to jump not me" Iwaizumi snorted  
"What?! I don't want you to die and I don't wanna die either, I want us both to make it out of here alive"  
"So you're not just a shitty person, you're dumb too." Oikawa felt tears well in his eyes which couldn't contain anymore.   
"Please, Iwa Chan" Oikawa said in between sobs "Please don't leave me.... I know I'm a shitty person..... I know girls only like me for my looks, I know everyone hates me..... I know that I'm selfish and I'll never be good enough...., and I know you deserve someone better..... I'm sorry, please don't jump..... I'll leave you alone and I'll never talk to you again.... I promise."  
"Your voice is so annoying, it's like nails on a chalkboard. I'm glad you understand that you should be better but if I didn't jump you'd feel like a hero, and that isn't true, you're a villian. Just remember that this all is your fault" Iwaizumi said as he jumped off the side of the building. Oikawa called out to hear the plummet of the ace's body.   
Oikawa shot up out of bed and looked around his room and at Iwaizumi's bed. There were sheets so he ran up and started ruffling them around. He pulled back the sheets to reveal him laying in his bed asleep. Iwaizumi opened his eyes and looked at Oikawa  
"What the hell Shittykawa?! Why did you wake me up?!" Iwaizumi whisper shouted. He studied the setter's face and saw he was clearly distressed and relaxed his face in response. "What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up changing his tone. Oikawa stared at him but no words came out. He didn't want to bother Iwaizumi more than he already did.   
"It's nothing, sorry for bothering you" Oikawa said and he walked back to his bed with his head down. Iwaizumi didn't ask what was wrong so he stared at the ceiling as time passed. He wanted to go outside with Oikawa because he could tell something was wrong, yet he wasn't sure what was the matter. He wondered if it was because of yesterday but he didn't want to think about it too much so he laid there with no thoughts in his mind.   
Iwaizumi looked out the window and saw it was still dark and probably still night. It was raining out but Iwaizumi loved the rain. All those days he felt all alone the rain would fill the silence and keep him company, like an ear that was always listening. He talked to the rain about all his frustrations and the rain would be there for him and tell him it was alright.   
He'd often cry with the rain for hours until he'd fall asleep. The rain was the only thing he knew that would stay with him forever, even if it'd go away at times it would always come back. Iwaizumi stood up and rested his hands on the window sill. He opened the window and the boy stuck his hand out the window. He felt the cold autumn rain fall into his hand and trickle down his arm.   
Iwaizumi heard footsteps coming near the door and he quickly laid back in bed. The nurse came through waking people up like she always did, everyone got up for class like they always did, and everyone read that same book like they always did. It felt so repetitive, everyday doing the same thing over and over. Iwaizumi and Oikawa were no longer trusted and didn't get any time to talk things out. Autumn came and went and the red leaves faded leaving the bare brown branch. Life for everyone outside went on like usual, and time didn't slow as much as Oikawa prayed it would. It was December 1st 1942 and he had been in the hospital for 89 days.

"Good morning sleeping beauty" Iwaizumi smirked like he always did  
"Good morningIwa Chan" Oikawa said  
"What were you dreaming about?"  
"Going to mars, I want to go to mars one day and make some alien friends." Oikawa answered daydreaming   
"Mars? You're weird." Iwaizumi stated  
"Oh throw me a bone here!" Oikawa whined. "Anyways, Christmas is in 25 days, are you excited?"   
"I couldn't care less"  
"What do you mean you couldn't care less?!"   
"What I mean is that it doesn't matter how far away Christmas is, we're gonna be stuck in here either way so there's really nothing we can do."  
"Well if anyone could figure out a way it's us because we're a team!"  
"That's so cheesy, and how do you plan to celebrate when we can't go anywhere, make anything, or buy any gifts?"  
"All you really need for a good gift is time and we have plenty of that coming our way" Iwaizumi thought of what he could get Oikawa but his brain drew a blank. Iwaizumi started coughing, unable to catch his breath. His hand was stained red and blood dripped through his fingers and onto the white sheet that was laying on top of him. He stared at his hand in concern but brushed it off since this wasn't unusual for the boys in the sanitaruim.   
Now that Oikawa really looked at him Iwaizumi had dark circles under his eyes which were heavier than before, and he had lost weight too. When they first met Iwaizumi was definitely more muscular and built then he was now, but he had been laying in that bed for months so it would've been impossible to keep his figure.

"Iwa Chan, we should get to class," Oikawa said looking at the sun. He was able to tell roughly what time it was by looking at where it was positioned.

"Do you think it's possible that we'll be out by the holidays?" Iwaizumi asked walking out the door  
"Honestly, I don't think so. Maybe by Easter, wait Iwa Chan, do you know that one hill that is really popular for sledding? It's like pretty close to here actually It's probably less than a mile away"  
"Yeah, I think I know which one you're talking about, really pretty and white in the winter, and covered in flowers and cherry blossoms in the spring."  
"Yeah Yeah that one!" Oikawa smiled, "we should go there"  
"What? Are you crazy? What did I tell you don't get your hopes up-"  
"I mean tonight"  
"What-"  
"Let's go there tonight, just you and me. After class I have my check up, we'll sneak out after that"   
"We'll get in trouble though"  
"So what, you said it yourself, we're gonna die here anyways so might as well have a little fun before it happens"  
"Is this you giving up?"  
"No, I'm not giving up, I'm not an idiot you know. I know that the chances of both us making it out of here is slim and that's not me giving up that's just a fact. I just wanna have some fun y'know."  
"Mm, fine, we can go, but don't mix things up. I'm in charge, you listen to me. If anything goes wrong and I say to leave you listen to me. "  
"Yeah ok"  
"Come on guys we have to leave for class" Mattsun said walking out the door.   
"You ready?" Oikawa asked behind Iwaizumi's desk. Class was finally over and they were going to execute their plan.  
"Yeah, I came up with a plan, here I wrote it down for you" Iwaizumi said, handing Oikawa a piece of yellow lined paper. "read it over once we get to our room"   
" 'kay" Oikawa nodded before leaving the classroom. He walked down the hallway into a room with a scale and some other medical equipment where he sat on a blue chair. His check up went on like usual but instead of going back to his room he went to the bathroom near the lobby.   
Oikawa walked into the bathroom and knocked on the handicap stall door. The door opened and Iwaizumi was there with clothes for him and Oikawa. Oikawa walked into the stall and closed the door behind them.   
"Where did you get these?"  
"After the nurse washed our clothes she left them in this bag under my bed. I only took our clothes and left the rest under there. Now hurry up and get dressed" Iwaizumi said, throwing Oikawa the clothes he came in, which happened to be sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Oikawa turned around and got changed before handing his hospital gown to Iwaizumi to be put back in the bag.  
"Iwa Chan, is that all you have?" Oikawa asked, noticing Iwaizumi was only wearing a white shirt and jeans.   
"It's too late to back out now, plus I'll be fine. A little snow never hurt anyone"  
"It's snowing?! Please Iwa Chan, you'll get sick, I don't think it's a good idea."  
"I'm already sick, I don't care what's the worst that happens? Come on I planned this much we should go now."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Yeah, now let's go," Iwaizumi said, walking out of the stall with Oikawa following in pursuit. They exited the bathroom and peered through the glass doors that let them see the lobby. There was no one in the room so they ran out and the cold harsh winter air stinged their faces. A shiver ran down Oikawa's spine as Iwaizumi got goosebumps but he ignored them.  
Oikawa stared wide eyed at the snow that laid on the ground and the lights that lit up buildings nearby.  
"You ready to go?" Iwaizumi asked   
"Yeah, but it's not too late to turn back, are you sure that you want to do this in just a tee shirt."  
"Just trust me for once Shittykawa, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to or if I thought something bad would happen. It's still a stupid idea though"  
"Why would you say all that nice stuff if you're just gonna tear me down?!"Oikawa whined  
"Stop whining and let's go" Iwaizumi said, he turned left and started walking with a bit of jog trying to combat the cold weather. Oikawa was able to keep up in pace as they neared the hill. They slowed and Oikawa's eyes gleamed like a child on christmas morning as he started running up the hill through the snow.  
Oikawa stopped at the top and stared at everything around him, the leafless trees, the snow that laid a white cover on the ground, the hospital building he had gotten to know so well, and the boy next to him that he had fallen in love with.   
He stared at Iwaizumi who was now next to him taking in the view of the hospital.   
"It looks so small from here" Oikawa said, the hill was about two stories tall and about 1000 square feet, but at that moment it felt like so much more. It felt like freedom and like hope standing at the top of that hill.   
"Iwa chan" Oikawa took a deep breath. He looked down and noticed his hands were shaking, "Would you even want to make it out of here with me?" The setter noticed his warm tears rolling down his face, immediately being frozen by the cold winter air  
"Oikawa, why would you ever think that?" Iwaizumi asked as he came to the realization how little Oikawa felt about himself. Oikawa turned away and his cheeks were stained with tears. Iwaizumi moved closer to Oikawa and grabbed his cold clammy hands.   
Oikawa stared at Iwaizumi and more tears spilled out of his eyes. Iwaizumi hated seeing Oikawa cry but was unsure of what to say, "Tooru, I'm bad at putting my feelings into words, but I hear actions speak louder anyway" Iwaizumi let go of Oikawa's hand and used his thumb to wipe away the tears from his eyes. The ace inched his face closer before laying a gentle kiss onto Oikawa's lips. He parted only after a second and Oikawa clung onto Iwaizumis chest and hugged him.   
"Oikawa" Iwaizumi pushed the pretty boy back so he could see his face. He took in Oikawa's looks and softly smiled to himself. "I wouldn't want to leave with anyone else. You might not realize how amazing you are, but you were able to single handedly restore my broken spirit. Before you came I was just waiting to die, I had nothing waiting for me, but now thanks to you I have a reason to live. I forgot how to love..... but you reminded me, so thank you"

"Iwa Chan, you were the first person I could be myself around. I never felt the need to put up a fake face with you. So thanks for that, you don't give yourself enough credit though, you taught me how to love myself and you at the same time"  
"Oikawa I love you, when we get out of here let's go somewhere far away. Actually let's go to Mars, just the two of us" Iwaizumi smiled  
"Yeah, I'd like that" Oikawa giggled.

"He's awake" A nurse rejoiced. Oikawa shot up from the blue chair he was sitting in and grabbed onto the side of the hospital bed, only to be quickly pushed back by a nurse.  
"You have to stay on that chair for the time being" A different nurse said. Oikawa stood behind the nurse he was taller than and watched Iwaizumi slowly sit up in the bed. He looked around then all of the sudden his eyes widened. He waved his hand in front of his face as a look of worry grew on his face.  
"Is everything alright?" The first nurse asked  
"W- Where am I?" Iwaizumi asked, he looked over towards Oikawa and stared at him. Oikawa was confused and waved neverosly at Iwaizumi who seemed to have no reaction.  
"You're in the ER" The second nurse answered  
"Oh, where's Oikawa? Is he OK?" Iwaizumi asked, causing Oikawa and the other nurses to be even more confused.  
"Iwa Chan, you're looking right at me" Oikawa said slowly trying to make sense of everything.  
"My eyes are open?" Hajimine asked in disbelief  
"Huh? Yeah your eyes are open super wide, you're looking straight at a window too" Oikawa answered just as confused.  
"I can't see," Iwaizumi said, immediately being surrounded by nurses. A nurse held his eyes open and took a light to see if his eyes would follow.  
"I'm going to need you to leave the room" The second nurse told Oikawa. He left the room and waited next to the door for what felt like forever. Oikawa paced back and forth attempting to peak through the window. He wanted to know what was wrong and if Iwaizumi would be alright. He wanted to wash the guilt away, he just wanted Iwaizumi to be ok, he just wanted him to be around forever. Oikawa had butterflies in his stomach as the first nurse came out of the room.  
"Oikawa" The nurse started "About Iwaizumi,"  
"What is it?! Is he OK?! Don't tell me he lost his memory, What will I do?! What if he doesn't like me anymore" Oikawa stressed  
"I understand that you are concerned with your friend but I'm going to need you to let me finish. We ran some tests and it seems that Iwaizumi has gone blind" Oikawa's eyes widened in shock as tears pinged his eyes. He held back his tears and made sure he heard the nurse correctly.  
"Blind?"  
"Yes, you're lucky it wasn't worse. You can go in there to visit him now, but I will have a nurse present since you two can not be trusted." Oikawa nodded and walked into the room where Iwaizumi was staying. He sat on a bed propped up with pillows and had bandages covering his eyes. Oikawa's heart stung as he wished for the wave of guilt to be washed away.  
"Iwa Chan," Oikawa said, unsure of himself. Iwaizumi's face lit up and he attempted to find where Oikawa's voice was coming from. Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi's hands so Iwaizumi was faced in his direction. "So, do you remember what happened?"  
"The last thing I remember is us saying we wanna go to Mars together. What happened after that?" Iwaizumi asked and Oikawa began to tell the story.  
"Well after we said we'd go to Argentina together, you began coughing really hard. Your face even started turning blue. Then you started to cough up blood all over the snow and all over yourself before you fell limp. I picked you up, the best I could and ran to the hospital through the snow. I ran through the lobby and the receptionist saw you and they took you into the E.R. and were luckily able to stabilize your breathing. You were asleep for three whole days! I thought you would die!" Oikawa said, staring at the boy who was now hooked up to all machines and blind because of what he did.  
"Oikawa" Iwaizumi started "This isn't your fault"  
"how did you know-"  
"You think just because I can't see I can't know what you're feeling? I don't need stupid words or sight. Hell you could take away all of our senses because our connection goes beyond that level. I don't need to see you to know what you think" Oikawa looked down and saw his hands were trembling and Iwaizumi was holding them steady.  
"I'm sorry"  
"Shut the hell up! You think that this is just your fault?! We're both to blame, it could be you here just like me! So stop blaming just yourself because we both know that you clearly didn't want this to happen. Please Oikawa, forgive yourself, for me"   
"Iwa Chan I-"  
"Oikawa, yes, I still love you stop worrying it's only been three days"  
"How the hell are you reading my mind you weirdo" To that Iwaizumi only chuckled and looked out the window at the snow slowly making its way towards the ground. "No seriously though how are you doing that?! You're like that creepy number five from shiratorizawa"   
"Are you talking about Tendo?" Iwaizumi asked, Tendo had made quite a name for himself being able to geuss block almost every spike he hit, yet so had Oikawa being able to conduct a team so effortlessly.  
"There's only 21 days until Christmas" Oikawa beamed in an attempt to lighten up the mood. "Of course if it wasn't hard before it's going to be even harder now to get you a gift since you can't see it."   
"We're still doing the gift exchange thingy?" Iwaizumi whined. It's not like he didn't want to get the setter something, it's just that he wasn't sure what to get him.  
"Of course we are" Oikawa smiled, deep down he knew that whatever he gets Iwaizumi could be his last memory of him.   
"Oikawa, I hate to intrude but looking at the time I think you should head back to your room so you can be up for class tomorrow, I'd be happy to bring you back afterwards though" The nurse said. Oikawa didn't put up a fight, beat from worrying all day he slowly walked back to his room. He walked through the door and captured the attention of everybody in the room but he just laid in bed letting his thoughts wash over him.

"He would've been better off with me," Kiyoko said calmly yet truthfully. "If it were me he would still be able to see and wouldn't be stuck in the emergency room but no, he had to choose you. You just ruined his life, I could've done what you did and I wouldn't have lost his eye sight. You're nothing but a joke and you deserve to be the one in the E.R, not Hajimine"  
"I know" Oikawa nodded hands trembling like they did when he was worried. He kept his head down and let her words sink in.  
"Maybe if you just were to disappear you'd fix everyone's problems. If you just never came here in the first place you know how many lives would have been saved. Do you know how many people died because you took up an empty cot?" Oikawa grabbed his hair tightly and sat down, he didn't have the strength to stand up against her. He wanted to scream, he wanted her to go away, he wanted to run, run away and never make Iwaizumi hear his voice again.  
He sat on the floor with his back against the wall looking up unsuccessfully attempting to contain his tears. His face was red and the room was spinning for him, he gasped for air still tightly holding his hair. He coughed up blood which landed on his knees.   
"That's not true," a voice said. Oikawa looked at where it was coming from, the person being blurry through his tears. It was him, it was Oikawa..... a second one "Iwaizumi never said that, he said how thankful he was for me. Not how someone else could make him happier, he said no one else could."   
Oikawa relaxed his body and smiled, he laughed out loud and Kiyoko stared at him. The other Oikawa smiled and Kiyoko backed up putting her hands standing in defense.  
"Listen to me" She yelled "You are nothing! You're nothing to him! You cause Hajimine nothing but problems!" Oikawa smiled at this, the tears in his eyes gone.  
"You're not going to manipulate and control me anymore" Oikawa said "You should just give up because Iwaizumi told me that he needed me and how he loved me. His voice is a lot louder than yours. It's been great knowing you but I'm ready to cut this tie..... goodbye" Oikawa smiled as the room began to fade along with the second Oikawa and Kiyoko.  
Oikawa woke up and looked around the hospital room. He looked at the empty bed next to him and felt tears staining the sheets. These weren't his normal tears, he smiled through them this time and instead of feeling guilty he felt relieved.   
Oikawa laughed to himself before standing up and opening the curtains. He looked at the white snow and the blue sky. The room groaned as the boys began to wake up from the sudden burst of light.   
"Good morning sleepy heads" Oikawa smiled  
"Someone's chipper this morning" Atsumu groaned  
"Close the curtains asshole" Mattsun said, throwing a pillow at Oikawa's head.   
"It's such a beautiful day outside though" He giggled picking up the pillow and placing it on Iwaizumi's bed.   
"He's lost it" Osamu said staring at the ceiling   
"I did not lose it! You guys just need to learn how to appreciate a nice day" Oikawa huffed. He wanted to treasure every day he still had left. He knew that the time was running low and he knew he couldn't stop it so he decided to run with it instead of against it.   
Oikawa smiled and the nurse walked in to wake the boys up but left once she saw they were awake already. As they left for class he skipped down the hall in front of the pack. Oikawa walked in and smiled at Kiyoko and the world.   
As much as he tried, his mind still wandered and he thought about Iwaizumi all day. He closed his eyes in an attempt to tame his thoughts. He took deep breaths and was in control, he opened his eyes and looked around the room at the miserable patients, at that moment he knew he wanted to make it his mission to make their lives a bit better. His priority was Iwaizumi but he knew that he'd make the ace proud by doing this so he started thinking of how he could achieve his goal.  
The bell rang and class was over. The students slowly began to stand up but Oikawa couldn't contain himself and started running down the hallway. He made it to the nurse's desk and asked if he could see Iwaizumi.  
The nurse opened the door for him and he walked in to see the familiar sight of Iwaizumi hooked on all machines. He felt the same sting in his chest and grabbed Iwaizumi's hand causing him to spring up,  
"It's alright Iwa Chan, it's just me" Oikawa said   
"Oikawa..." Iwaizumi said   
"Hey, how are you doing?" Oikawa asked, Iwaizumi bit the inside of his cheek and lowered his head. Even though he couldn't see Oikawa he could feel Oikawa and his worry grow.  
"Do you want me to tell you what you want to hear or the truth?" Iwaizumi asked. Oikawa thought about the question but decided he wanted to hear the truth.  
"I... I wanna hear the truth..." Oikawa said, unsure of his answer. He bit his lip and played with his hand due to the stress.  
"Honestly, I feel like shit, my throat feels like it's on fire, my head is spinning, and it's difficult to breath. The only thing keeping me alive is machines and IVs" Oikawa felt his world crash and swallowed back his worry.  
"Iwa Chan, is there at least a chance? Is there any hope?" Oikawa asked, his voice cracking and tears filling his eyes.   
"I don't know. They won't give me an upright answer."  
"Oh"  
"Don't be sad though, if I were gonna die I'm sure they would've told me or you by now so I'd say yeah, there is still hope." Iwaizumi smiled, he didn't need sight to see Oikawa's face. He knew the exact expression the setter was making right now.  
"Iwa Chan, you said you love me right? That means you can be honest with me. What did they really say?"   
"You can read me like an open book huh?" Iwaizumi smirked, he wasn't sure whether or not to tell Oikawa the truth or if he should keep quiet. Telling him could shatter his spirits but not telling him would make him hate Iwaizumi, but maybe that was for the best. Iwaizumi wanted Oikawa to love him but felt that selfish.   
"Iwa Chan, you know you can tell me anything right?" Oikawa said  
"Yeah, I'm tired" Iwaizumi said   
"Stop trying to change the subject" Oikawa barked "Do you trust me or not?"   
"Fine, the doctors said I have a few months left to live," Iwaizumi revealed.   
"Oh, I have to use the bathroom real quick," Oikawa said walking out of the room. He ran as soon as he got to the hallway and locked the door to the nearest bathroom. He pressed his whole body weight against the door and slowly slid down, sitting against the door. Oikawa clung to the blue fabric of his hospital gown and attempted to calm his breathing.  
Oikawa hugged his knees and rested his head. 'Wow, I only have a few months left with him, why? Why does our time have to be so short? Even though I've only known him a few months it feels like I've known him a lifetime..... and I wish I got a lifetime but.... I guess some things only happen on mars..... Maybe one day we'll become aliens and we could live on mars together...... I just wish we could go back in time so I could love him longer.'  
Oikawa sat there and softly smiled through his tear stained cheeks, dreaming of a new life they could lead on mars. Aliens never get sick and they never die, it sounded perfect Oikawa hugged his knees tighter before letting go. He wanted to treasure every moment he had with his ace so he dried his face and walked back to the room.  
"Are you sure that was a wise choice?" The nurse asked  
"I don't have the heart to tell him...."  
"Your surgery is scheduled, it's all or nothing, are you sure you would like to proceed?"  
"Yeah, anything that could give me the chance of spending more time with him I'll gladly take." Iwaizumi smiled, he heard the door open and assumed it was Oikawa. He felt his heart race as he heard his familiar voice.   
"Hey Iwa Chan, I'm back" Oikawa smiled softly, it was obvious that there was pain in his voice in which he wasn't trying to mask.   
"Hey Oikawa, you ok?" Iwaizumi asked, trying to find Oikawa's hands.  
"Do you want to get away?" Oikawa asked, pulling a chair behind him and sitting down. He held Iwaizumi's hand to which Iwaizumi relaxed a bit.   
"Get away?"  
"Yeah, we could live as aliens, aliens never get sick and they never die. Think about how fun it would be to explore the galaxy with you. We could go to every planet! I wanna go to mars but Jupiter sounds like fun too! We also have to go to Uranus, just to say we went" Oikawa laughed, lightening the mood.  
"That would be fun, I'd love that" Iwaizumi softly smiled, dreaming of a different world where they could be together forever and not have their time cut short.  
Oikawa woke up and looked at the letters next to him. He looked at his hand which had an ink stain printed on the side. He picked up the letters and began shuffling through them, it was December 23rd and Oikawa was looking through the Christmas gifts he had made for all his friends in the sanitarium. He looked over all the letters and Iwaizumi's gift which he had made the night prior.   
He held iwaizumi's gift close to his heart close to his heart . Oikawa walked to Iwaizumi's room since they had the day off. He held the gift in his hand and took a deep breath before knocking at the door.   
He walked in the room and saw Iwaizumi was still asleep. He opened the curtains and looked out the window. It was raining, he missed the snow but he knew how much Iwaizumi loved the rain. He opened the window and stuck his arm out the window. A cold wind blew through the room as rain began to fall on the window sill. The rain soaked into Oikawa's arm and ran down the side before sticking together and falling to the ground. Oikawa watched the fall from the second floor as the rain would plummet in the grass.   
Oikawa heard the sheets ruffle and turned to see Iwaizumi attempting to look around the room. Oikawa quickly shoved the gift in his pocket and turned his attention towards Iwaizumi.  
"Good morning Iwa Chan," Oikawa said, pulling his hand away from the window.   
"Good morning Sleeping beauty.... is it just me or is it cold in here?" Oikawa noticed Iwaizumi's goosebumps and purple lips. Iwaizumi still had bandages over his eyes and looked like he lost weight significantly. If Oikawa were to guess Iwaizumi probably weighed less than 100 pounds. His skin was pale and his hands had lost their life. You could see the blue and green of his veins clearly and his hair was thinning.   
"Sorry, I had the window open" Oikawa said  
"Is it raining?" Iwaizumi asked listening to the sound of rainfall  
"Yeah,"  
"I wonder if it rains on mars" Iwaizumi said  
"Nah, mars doesn't have an atmosphere like earth does so it can't rain"   
"Maybe that's a good thing" Iwaizumi thought out loud, "I always used the sound of the rain to comfort me but maybe on mars I won't need it. That's what I'm hoping for at least"  
"Well you won't need rain on mars because you have me" Oikawa smiled, "Just wait for me there OK?"  
"Yeah," Iwaizumi nodded and softly smiled. "....Do you think you could take me to the window to feel the rain?"   
"Yeah sure," Oikawa said as he walked to Iwaizumi's bed. Oikawa grabbed Iwa's side and Iwaizumi swung his legs over the side, He grabbed Oikawa's shoulders for support and stood up slowly.   
"Ok I'm ready," Iwaizumi said, taking a step towards the window. Oikawa looked behind him and took a step backwards. They slowly made their way to the window where Iwaizumi rested one hand on the sill and kept his other arm around Oikawa's shoulder.  
Iwaizumi shifted his weight to Oikawa and held his arm out to feel the rain.   
'Thank you' Iwaizumi said to the rain, 'Thank you for all the times you comforted me.... Thank you for all the times you were there for me..... Thank you for being consistent in my life.... Thank you for never leaving.... Thank you for filling the silence all those sleepless nights.... But..... I don't need you anymore... I have him now....'  
'It's been a pleasure..... Iwaizumi.... goodbye' The rain seemed to whisper as Iwaizumi pulled his hand back from the window. He felt a sense of relief when his hand was back inside, he knew he didn't need it anymore. He had somebody now who he could rely on for the rest of his life.  
"I'm ready to go back now," Iwaizumi said as they made their way back to the bed the same way they came. Iwaizumi laid back in the bed and Oikawa sat in his usual blue chair.  
"Tomorrow's Christmas eve" Oikawa said  
"Really? Wow, where did the time go?" Iwaizumi chuckled a bit. He began playing with his hands which went unnoticed by the pretty boy.   
"Yeah, oh I got you your Christmas gift!" Oikawa smiled, easing the tension in the air.  
"Oh I can't wait" Iwaizumi smiled   
"What did you get me?" Oikawa asked  
"I can't tell you, you have to wait until Christmas"  
"But that's so boring" Oikawa whined "I want my gift now"  
"Stop whining like a little bitch" Iwaizumi huffed   
"Shut up" Oikawa blushed.  
"When we get to mars we should try to find a space shuttle from earth to scare NASA, make them think that there's and alien invasion" Oikawa said causing Iwaizumi to laugh  
"Are you stupid?" He laughed "We wanna plan a surprise attack, we can't warn them because then they might take us to area 51."  
"It would be fun to go to area 51 though, maybe we could meet alien friends from different planets."   
"And what are you gonna do with your friends in area 51 when they take you for experimentation?"   
"Well I'll call you to abduct them with our U.F.O then we could experiment on them" Iwaizumi let out a loud laugh, it was the most he's laughed in awhile. He laughed until his stomach ached.

"Time to wake up" The nurse whispered gently, shaking Oikawa awake. Oikawa sat up in the bed and looked around the room to see everyone else was awake. He gathered the letters he had made and got up for class. He walked down the long white hallway and to the classroom which had a mini Christmas tree on the desk.  
Oikawa was the first one through the door and left the letters inside of everyone's desk. They weren't anything much, just thanking them for the little things they did like letting him borrow a pencil or helping him with the homework, but in this world they meant so much more. Since you couldn't get a real gift the spirits were low and Oikawa figured that complimenting them would give them some extra confidence and bring some joy to the holiday's name.  
He left them on everybody's desk and sat at his own as the students filled in the empty space. There were very clear directions that they were not to be opened until Christmas day. The students stared at the cards and looked at Oikawa before putting them away.   
"Hello class," Mr. Takeda said, walking through the door. He paused as he saw the note on his desk but decided to ignore it until later. "Today is Christmas eve as many of you are aware. I think that everyone here celebrates Christmas, yes? Good. Anyways, today we'll be talking about the history of Christmas and how it came to be." Oikawa slumped in his seat, he knew it was going to be a long lesson.   
The bell rang and class ended as fast as it began. Oikawa couldn't tell you a single thing they learned, his head was on mars. He walked through the hallway and heard some nurses talking to Iwaizumi in his room.  
"Take this for tomorrow" One nurse said, Oikawa assumed she was handing him a pill or something.   
"Thank you" He heard Iwaizumi say.  
"Have you told him yet?" A different nurse asked  
"No.... I don't think I'm going to"   
"It's not my choice obviously, but I think you should say something" The first nurse said.  
"Tell me what?" Oikawa asked, walking in the room. "Iwa Chan what haven't you told me? Is it a Christmas gift? Or is it that you're gonna be allowed back in the rooms, or that you're getting discharged?" Oikawa tried staying optimistic  
"Something like that" Iwaizumi put on a cheesy fake smile which Oikawa could see right through.   
"I know that you're hiding something, but I'm not gonna force you to tell me what it is. Just know you can trust me with anything, Ok?" Oikawa said, he sounded a bit more disappointed. He knew whatever Iwaizumi was hiding wasn't pleasant but he didn't want to force him to say anything he wasn't comfortable with.  
"You know I trust you with my whole heart Oikawa..... I'm just not ready to tell you. You'll find out tomorrow" Oikawa's stomach twisted into a tight knot but he pushed the feeling down.   
"Ok, Oh guess what!" Oikawa said, excitement found its way into his voice. The nurses looked at each other and left the room to give them some privacy. "I made these letters for everybody in our class! I was basically thanking them for the little things they do for me. I know it's nothing much, but I think that it'll be helpful for them."  
"You're an amazing person, you know that?" Iwaizumi said causing Oikawa to blush  
"T- Thank you"   
"Why do you sound so unsure of yourself?"  
"It's just unusual that you call me an amazing person, you're usually all like 'You're a crappy person Crappykawa' or 'you're a shitty person Shittykawa'" Oikawa said imitating Iwaizumi  
"What?! I don't sound like that" Iwaizumi barked  
"Uh huh, yeah and you can also see how many fingers i'm holding up" Oikawa said sarcastically  
"Yes I can"  
"That's literally impossible"  
"No it's not"  
"Fine then how many fingers am I holding up?" Oikawa huffed  
Iwaizumi smirked, sure of his answer. "None... you're trying to trick me" Oikawa gasped at Iwaizumi's accurate answer. "I already told you, I don't need sight to see you."  
"Iwa Chan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I know I said I'd respect your privacy, but will you tell me how you're really doing? Please" Oikawa asked. He knew that there was something Iwaizumi wasn't telling him and it was really stressing him out.  
"I'm sorry" Iwaizumi started. "I'm so scared... I'm in so much pain... I don't blame you for any of it, but I hate not being able to see... I have the worst aches... My head feels like it's going to explode.... My throat feels like there are knives in it... I can't walk by myself... I rely on these machines to keep me alive.... I feel so cold all the time.... Breathing is a challenge and every breath hurts..."   
"I-" Oikawa started but was cut off  
"That being said, I don't want to die..... I want to be here longer with you, I don't want to ever leave your side... I don't want to die.... I just want the pain to end.... I wanna fly away to mars with you so I can be with you forever and not have any pain"  
"Hajimine.... I don't ever want you to leave my side... but I also don't want to see you in pain... I want to free you from your suffering... but I don't want you to leave me.... Is that selfish?"  
"Tooru, you're the most selfless person I have ever met.... Don't let anyone, especially yourself tell you any differently... Just know that you're the reason I want to live... I love you"  
"I love you too... I was going to wait until Christmas to give you your gift but I wanna give it to you now" Oikawa said reaching into the pocket of his blue hospital gown. He revealed a golden necklace with a heart on it and placed it into Iwaizumi's cupped hands.  
"A necklace?" Iwaizumi asked feeling the gift  
"Yeah, it's a locket, you can open the heart" Iwaizumi felt for the crack and opened the heart and felt inside. Iwaizumi felt the inside and smiled softly  
"Did you learn braille for me?"  
"Yeah, I know you've been working hard to learn it.... Do you know what it says?" Oikawa asked  
"It says I love you...." Iwaizumi said. "When did you find the time?"   
"I couldn't sleep, I just wanted you to always know wherever you go that I love you.... forever" Oikawa bit his lip in an attempt not to cry. 'Forever in this world isn't long enough' he thought.   
"Help me put it on," Iwaizumi ordered. Oikawa stood up and put the necklace around Iwaizumi's neck. Iwaizumi clutched the heart in his right hand before he heard knocking at the door. The nurse didn't wait for an answer before entering  
"I'm sorry Oikawa but you need to get back in time for curfew" Oikawa looked out the window, he hadn't even noticed that it had gotten so late.

"Goodbye Iwa Chan" Oikawa squeezed the ace's hand before letting go and walking out of the room.  
"Goodbye.... Oikawa...." Iwaizumi reached his arm out before lowering it back on his lap. He heard the door close before he let go of the locket too.  
Oikawa stood alone in an unfamiliar place. He didn't know where he was and looked around desperately looking for something familiar.  
"Oikawa" Iwaizumi's voice called out, but there was something different.Iwaizumi's voice had lost the rasp it had and sounded stronger than it was before. Oikawa looked around at all the stars and the red dust that covered his feet. Iwaizumi had gained his color back and built up some muscle. His hair had grown back while his eye bags had left his face.   
"We're.. on.. mars" Oikawa said in disbelief, "How.... How do you feel?"  
"I feel amazing.... all of my pain is gone and my eyesight is back...." Iwaizumi smiled. Oikawa looked down and saw that his skin was still beige.  
"Why am I not an alien like you?" Oikawa asked  
"Because you're not here yet" Iwaizumi said as his image faded into the red dust. The rest of the scenery faded as Oikawa shifted back into reality.  
Oikawa shot out of bed. He ripped the covers off of his body. He looked outside, it was still dark out and he'd surely be scolded, but he didn't care. He slipped his slippers on and started running for the door.   
He ran through the long empty hallway of the hospital towards Iwaizumi's room. His shoes slipped as he turned the corner but he kept running. He found his way to Iwaizumi's room and desperately tried to open the door. He pushed the door open and there was an empty bed. All of Iwaizumi's belongings were still in the room but the ace was nowhere to be found.  
Oikawa noticed a paper left on the bedside table addressed to the setter's name. Oikawa opened the note written in braille and immediately knew that Iwaizumi had left it there. 

'Dear Oikawa,  
If you're reading this that means it's Christmas day, crazy how the time flies huh? Anyways, I was probably too scared to tell you what today was so you're looking for me, am I right? Today I have a surgery scheduled, it's all or nothing for this surgery. It's my only hope for survival, but there's only a three percent chance that I survive it. I'm taking this chance as my Christmas gift to you, so I hope it works out. In case I die I just wanted to tell you a few things, I wanted to thank you for letting me open up to you. I also wanted to say thank you for giving me the will to live, you gave me hope for the future. It's thanks to you that I'm going through with this surgery and not just giving up. Hey You're the first person I could truly rely on and I knew you'd always be there. The fact that you were never going away was settling because I knew that if you were to leave me I'd have nothing. You also taught me how to verbalize my emotions.  
I know this sounds cheesy but I wanted to keep my promise to you, I promised that I would never give up hope, and I didn't. You are hope itself, I don't think you realized that the first day we met, you saved my life. I really wanted to start a life with you and make it out of here alive. I hate how things ended, yet at the same time I'm happy. All of my pain will finally end, and I know deep down that even if you're not physically with me, you'll never leave my side. Thank you for the past four months, can't wait to see you on mars.

Goodnight Sleeping beauty  
Love Hajimine, Iwaizumi'

Oikawa clenched the paper in his fist. His tears stained the paper as his hands began to tremble. He collapsed onto Iwaizumi's bed. The bed still smelled like Iwaizumi and his presence still lingered in some small way. They only were together for 113 days but the time felt so short yet somehow so long at the same time.   
Oikawa was crushed but he was relieved at the same time. He was happy that Iwaizumi could finally be freed from all the pain he endured. He was happy that Iwaizumi could finally live a pain free life on mars. He was happy that when they met again Iwaizumi would be able to see everything beautiful again.   
Oikawa was able to smile through his tears, while this Christmas may not be ideal, the person he loved the most could finally break free. Oikawa didn't want to see Iwaizumi, he wanted to remember Iwaizumi being alive. He wanted his last memory to be Iwaizumi knowing how much Oikawa loved him.

It was April 10th, 1943. Oikawa had been in the sanitarium for 220 days and it was finally over. The day he got to leave the hospital which he had grown to know so well was finally here.  
"You're leaving here so soon, I'm jealous" Watari whined. Oikawa made a fast recovery and was ready to leave faster than most other patients. Oikawa slowly packed his bag full of all his belongings and looked around the room one last time. Watari, Kunimi, and Osamu were the only familiar faces left in the sanitarium when Oikawa left.   
Oikawa finished packing his bag and kept Iwaizumi's letter in his hand. He still couldn't let go of what happened no matter how hard he tried to distract himself. Oikawa waved goodbye to the sanitarium and walked down the long, white hallway. He passed Iwaizumi's E.R room and peaked in the window. There was someone else in the room on the hospital bed. What looked to be the person's mother was holding their hand and crying. Oikawa felt bad for the women but kept walking since there was nothing he could do to help.   
He passed the staircase that led to the roof of the building and remembered how he and Iwaizumi would get caught in the rain. He remembered how that was the first place Iwaizumi really opened up and figured out how to express his feelings. Oikawa softly smiled to himself as he continued down the long hallway.   
Oikawa passed the bathroom where they snuck out of the hospital. Even though that day was a disaster, he didn't regret it. He was happy that he got that time with his ace. He missed Iwaizumi but he was content knowing that he was finally free of everything the cruel world had put him through and even if just for a few months, he gave Iwaizumi a reason to live.   
Oikawa opened the doors to the lobby and walked through the doors and was finally outside. He was immediately swarmed by his mother who pulled him into a tight hug.   
"I'm so happy you're ok" She cried "I'm so sorry for leaving you here for so long, please forgive me"  
"It's ok mom, I forgive you"   
"Come on get in the car.... let's go home" She said. Oikawa opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat. She started the car and began pulling out of the parking spot. "By the way" She started "What's that paper in your hand?"  
Oikawa stared at the paper and said "It's a letter"   
"From who?"  
"A friend mom jeez quit being so nosy"   
"Is it from a girlfriend?" She teased poking at his side.  
"mm" Oikawa hummed.   
"Tell me about her, was she nice? Will I get to meet her?"  
"They were amazing....., they were always there for me...... They helped me hold my head up during the time I was there...... They were bad at talking about their emotions but... I think that's what made me want to help them......... They went blind so I learned braille and I guess that came in handy so I could read their letter....... They gave me confidence in myself and helped me realize my worth......... So if I'm being honest mom....., I'm not sad that I went to the sanitarium......, if it weren't for the sanitarium I wouldn't have met them and I would never have realized my worth....... I mean it hurts that they're gone but I'm just happy that I got the time I did....... If I could go back in time I wouldn't change a thing,..... and one day I'll see them again,.... I'm positive of it."  
Oikawa peered out the window as they passed the hill where they snuck out to. He looked at the cherry blossoms blooming on the hill and wished Iwaizumi could see it.   
They made it home and Oikawa walked into his old room. All of his belongings and furniture were covered in a thick dust. Oikawa walked downstairs and found his mom in the kitchen washing dishes.   
"Mom?" He asked  
"Yeah, what's up Tooru?"  
"I'm gonna go on a walk, I'll be back in a bit" He said walking out the door not giving her time to input her opinion. He was wearing jeans and a white button down shirt with a tan sweater on top, perfect for the spring weather. It was still chilly outside and it was getting dark. Oikawa walked a few blocks to the coffee shop on 12th street. He knew it was a long shot that Hanamaki would still be waiting there but he decided to check anyway.   
He opened the door to the small coffee shop and a bell rang. He scanned the room but didn't see Hanamaki in any of the seats. Oikawa was about to leave when he heard someone call his name.   
"Oikawa?" Hanamaki called out. Oikawa turned around and saw that Hanamaki was the barista.   
"Hey Hanamaki, it's been a while." Oikawa waved  
"I'm going to go on break for a minute," Hanamaki told his boss, taking off his apron and leaving it on the counter. "Wanna grab us a table?"  
"Yeah," Oikawa said sitting in a booth near the back away from most of the other customers. Hanamaki sat across from Oikawa and started talking.  
"So, you made it out huh?"   
"Yeah, who would've guessed you would still be here"  
"Well, I made a promise..... Anyways, do you know how the others are doing?"  
"Mattsun moved up to the adults room last I know about. I haven't heard about his death so as far as I know he's still alive. As for the others, I know that Atsumu, Yahaba, and Iwaizumi didn't make it..."  
"Iwaizumi died?" Hanamaki asked, shocked.   
"Yeah, he died Christmas morning" Oikawa bit his lip and stared at his intertwined thumbs,   
"Are you alright? I know he meant a lot to you"  
"I'm doing OK I guess, I'm happy that he's finally free.... But I wish he were still here by my side... You should've seen him during his final days..... He lost his eyesight and was visibly suffering.... So if I'm being honest I'm just glad that he's happier.... I just wish I could've spent longer with him..."   
"I bet, but you know I think you still meant a lot to him. I think that even if he were to stay alive he wouldn't be happy. I overheard him saying that he wanted to do something with sports, which he wouldn't be able to do if he were blind."   
"I mean you're right I guess, there's not much you can do with your life if you can't see what you're doing. He's pretty amazing though so I bet he would've figured out a way."  
"I bet you're right. I bet Iwaizumi would be happy to see you doing well."  
"He better be, I didn't do all that work to try and move on for nothing"  
"Did Yahaba and Atsumu die too?"   
"Yeah, I think that-"  
"Takahiro get your ass back to work! We have a huge line of customers!" A worker yelled from behind the counter  
"That's my boss, I gotta go. Come in again and we can finish talking" Hanamaki said, running behind the counter and quickly tying his apron. Oikawa nodded and left the small coffee shop on 12th street. He still had a few more places he wanted to stop at before he went home though.  
Oikawa walked down 12th street which had a bunch of small little shops. He stopped in a flower shop and began looking at all their flowers. He wasn't looking for anything particular, he thought that when he saw the right one he'd know, and he did. He stopped when he saw a beautiful bouquet of blue roses. He smelled the sweet smell of the flower and knew that it was perfect so he bought them, despite the hefty price.   
Oikawa left the shop and began walking to his final stop. He walked for a few miles before finally stopping at the hill near the hospital. He walked to the top of the hill and sat in the same place Iwaizumi fell.   
He laid in the grass with his hands behind his head, placing the flowers next to him. It was pitch black besides the light coming from the moon.   
"You know, you can see mars tonight..... I wonder if you're up there looking down at me..... What's it like up there...? Are you finally happy.....? Is there any pain......? Do you miss me like I miss you.....? One day maybe I'll work for NASA and I can see you during this life...... Honestly I think deep down I was scared that I'll forget you before I make it to mars....., but.... I don't think that will happen........ I don't think I'll ever be able to forget you..... and maybe that's a good thing...... I'm not sure....... Do you still have your locket......? That locket is timeless because I don't think I'll ever stop loving you no matter how much I try to move on.... I really wish you could answer but... I know that's crazy... Everyone here probably thinks I'm crazy but.... somehow I know you can hear me...." Oikawa stood up and placed the flowers under a cherry blossom tree closest to where he was laying. He placed the flowers on the ground and looked back up at the sky.   
"Thank you for waiting for me..... I'll see you on mars...."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading it's my first time writing something like this so I really hope you like it


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